Congratulations!

Congratulations! You won! If it was your intention to break me, you sure did. If you set out to torture me and make me suffer for being born to you, you did a fantastic job.

I have to hand it to you, what a sly devil you are. You have gotten away with being a pathological liar, a sadist, a pedophile, a lesbian, a soothsayer, a "root worker" and a murderer. Very few people know and even fewer are brave enough to call you out.

Yes, there are times that I just break down. I break down and sob like a baby when I review the many horrible things you did to me. From infancy to old age, you're good. You covered every thing; physical, sexual, psychological, emotional, you didn't miss any thing.

I'm alright. While you were mistreating me, plotting and hatching more schemes, GOD was making intercession for me when I didn't know I needed Him.

So, you have been on this earth for very close to a century ripping and running, lying and conniving. You have had a good run. I guess you can say that you've had your fun. So, what did you get?

Did you get a good feeling when you cussed me like a dog? Were you trilled when you beat me senseless? How did you feel when you and your husband sexually abused me?

All these years you pretended to love me knowing full well you hate my guts. You don't just hate me. You hate every body. "He that hideth hatred with lying lips is a fool."

Yea, you are a fool alright. But, what did you get?

Well, if you haven't reaped shame, you will. Was it worth it? You might not believe it, but every one is looking at you out of the side of their eye. You've burned all of your bridges. I hope you remain in good health. If worse comes to worse, who are you going to live with? Can you live in that fine home in Texas, or Tennessee? I know you don't want to live in that "trailer" that you talk so much trash about. How about the two sons that you ruined? What if all of you ended up under a bridge? Wouldn't that be cozy, since you all love each other so much? Would you be happy then? You plucked down your house with your own hands.

"Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord, I shall repay." I know that little tidbit of information doesn't bother you because you don't believe in GOD. GOD is for suckers, for losers, for your prey. It is a good thing you never fell for that nonsense. I don't blame you. Why believe in GOD when you have a pocketful of murdered man's dirt. Again, congratulations. Can't nobody out think or out do you Mathy Jane.

I know what I got. I got a loving, doting, wise grandfather. I got dignity. I can hold my head up. Yes, it is bloody, but unbowed.

No, you never loved me, but my granddaddy sure did. He witnessed your many varied and sundried cruelties. He knew you. He knew things about you that he never told us.

Yea, so you sent me to the prom looking like a damn fool in a butchered up prom dress. Did that make you happy? Were you delighted? There must be a thousand sick things that you did to me and got clean away with. Yea, that's what I get for being so stupid. What idiot loves and trusts their own mother? It is a good thing that kind of foolishness never bothered you.

My grandfather deposited a wealth of knowledge into me. Knowledge that has helped me to cope and thrive. There is one bit of advice that he planted in my soul that will never leave me; "Don't 'cha worry daughter, Jesus will fix it."

That's what I hold on to, that's what I cling to every day;"Jesus will fix it."

Jesus will fix it for you if you let him.

In the mean time do what you can to keep yourself up. Be blessed and be a BlessING. Remember, "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel