"What becomes of the broken hearted?"

"What becomes of the broken hearted who have loved and now departed?" What a beautiful song crooned by the Temptations. What does become of the broken hearted? I really want to know.

There may be some people that have no idea of what I am talking about. There are some people that have never known real pain. I want you to know that I have. I also want you to know that I am more than upset. I am a mess. I am torn up. I am just a pile of flesh and bones.

I just don't understand some people. It is hard for me to understand the collective cruel selfishness of the world I live in.

Am I stupid? Am I just thick? It took me fifty-eight years to figure out, to discover that the woman I called "mother" is a sick sadistic monster.

I discovered the name of what she really is on the Internet. A Paraphile, my mother has suffered with Paraphilia her entire very long life.

Paraphilia is a psycho-sexual disorder in which sexual gratification is obtained through highly unusual practices that are harmful to others or socially repugnant.

What kind of world do we live in? What kind of people would let this woman run loose and rough shod over a family for eighty-five years?

All of the pieces now fall neatly into place. The brutal floggings were not really for punishment for some misdeed. She was secretly getting off.

That brutal pulverising I suffered when I was eight years old was for her pleasure! This vicious woman beat me in my head repeatedly. I am sure I suffered some form of brain damage. Years and years of nothing but trickery and deceit, for nothing.

Worse than being ONE of her victims for all of these years is the saddest fact of all, she is still doing it. They (my family) still cow tie to her. They are still afraid of her. They still grin in her face and talk behind her back, afraid to move or think without her permission.

I'm sorry, I can't do it. I can not pretend that this fractured woman is whole, is a real "Christian". I can't continue to lick my wounds and pretend that I don't care or that I didn't notice her latest evil deed.

I want to remind my family ; "No weapon formed against me shall prosper." and "Your silence will not protect you."( Audre Lorde)

Warning! Don't be stupid. She is not the only Paraphile on this earth. Keep your eyes and ears open. Be very careful of who you leave your children with. Don't put up with ignorance. If you have a selfish manipulative narcissist in your life, cut them loose. If your lover or spouse is violent and abusive, get "shed" of them.

Live for GOD. He will see you through. Stay in His WORD children. Remember, "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel

P.S. What becomes of the broken hearted? They turn out alright if they give their all to GOD. Be Blessed.