"Ah ain't know that kin'na he-do-nism wuz evan possible! I'm old an ain't nevah heared of nuttin' lak dat.
The most craziest man I eva' heard of from' 'round heah wuz Seben-pair-of-britches and he won't dat bad....jest always wo' seven pair of britches, ate road kill and lived in a hole in the ground.
Well I declare! If dat don't beat all!
It sho' true ain't it? The Bible! I don't reakon GAWD is playing wid us and I reckon He tied chile."
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