"YOU can't make me doubt Him!"

No! You can't. Don't get mad with me because I know you. You never hid your character. Well, that's what I thought. I knew you were a liar, but I thought you were honest about your character. I had no idea that you did things that you didn't share.

Don't try to act so innocent and wounded. "The fear of the LORD, is the beginning of knowledge." The only respect you have for GOD is all fake.

So what'cha gon' do? Cuss me out? Put a "curse" on me for knowing your truth? That "sneaky" GOD I serve let you "act the fool", "sho' ya color".

Do you know that is what our teachers told us at E.E Smith Sr. High school. I actually had teachers that admonished us before every assembly; "Don'chall go down dey actin' yo color!"

That may sound like a very racist thing to say, but we understood what they meant. And sure enough you could hear a pin drop in the auditorium or gym. We didn't break out into fights. A fight on campus was very rare. It was also very rare at parties. We had a secret "ignorant nigga" list. If rumor had it that you were prone to violence or drugs you were x-ed out. Unless you were very, very popular and good looking. If you were the star quarterback everyone looked the other way.

As I reflect back over my life, I think I was lame. Well, I was always called "lame". My "mother" even ridiculed me for being lame, for not having sex. S***, I could barely talk to a boy on the phone. How the #%*% was I going to have sex. Plus the double-minded witch ran off every boyfriend. Then she did the greatest evil known to "womankind". When I became of "age" she suddenly became the nastiest housekeeper in the world. I had five brothers, a stepfather and a grandfather. They were all nasty. They all suffered from poor aim. Needless to say, it was a serious burden for me. I finally gave up. I remember pushing a mountain of dirty dishes and clothes with my elbow so that I would have room to type my homework.

Type my homework, that's right. Mrs. W**** G********, was my "racist" English teacher. It was an honor's class and the she demanded that all assignments be formally typed. If I made a mistake, I had to start over. Mrs. G***** refused to accept anything but pristine papers. Whiteout, erasure tape, and strike overs were not accepted. I didn't argue. I did what she said. That meant that I worked into the wee hours of the morning almost every day.

I also didn't have the opportunity to be a rebellious teenager because you were still one. Psychologically and emotionally you never grew up. One "fool" in the house was enough.

Bottom line, my "mother's" extreme "secret" cruelty turned into a blessing. I was forced to develop tenacity. I was forced to grow up. I always knew that if I ever wanted to achieve anything I would have to do it for myself.

Strangely, I never blamed her. I did often wonder why my luck was so bad. Like most "intellectuals" I could not believe any "mother" would deliberately hurt their own child for any reason.

It's fine. GOD is knitting me back together. I am getting over the shock and the shame. What was once my "shame" is now my Victory. I am humbled by the goodness of GOD.

The poor woman still refuses to see. Still refuses to repent. Is still lying and denying.

No, I don't support people that say that they would never admit it either. You would rather go to hell? rot for eternity because you are too proud to admit that you fell. That you sunk low. You know that the nature of man is "low". You know the story of "Adam and Eve". You know that you can't get to GOD without repenting. You know that you are caught.

You know your life is despicable! Your few minions and "hanger-on-ers" can't save you.

"All I done fa' you!"; defense is too old. What did you ever do for me? You didn't get to do everything that you planned, that you plotted, thank GOD. No, you are not going to shut my mouth!

I am going to tell this world about the spiritual war we are engaged in. "Evil verses GOD" is real. You are not a product of my imagination. You are an abomination! But you do have a choice. You still have an opportunity.

You are too disgusting to know about. You are too revolting to hear about! But YOU and your kind must be known! Our little children must be saved!

I press on family. I'm prayed up, fired up, and feed up! I can't take it. I don't want to see another child suffer! I will not bear this awful burden.

Stay in His WORD children. Remember, "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel oneoftheseedsoftherighteousstandingflatfootedonHisWORD