I do thank GOD for another Christmas! I thank Him for knowledge, for experiences, for understanding. In my youth I agonized attempting to get every one a gift. I went into debt. I know now the root cause of my humanness, my lock stepping. I was fresh out of college and reminded of my unfortunate "blackness" and feeble mindedness often. I was trying to earn love. Trying to impress, to prove I had made it financially. And some how I knew I was trying to get people to love me that I knew did not care for me. I knew she didn't care for me. She said it out loud, often, all day every day. "Gwen ain't SHIT! She a viper! She sneaky!"
I did not know at the time Martha knew exactly what she was doing. She knew she was destroying me emotionally. This whore plotted my demise from my conception. What woman arranges the rape of her own children? A DEMON! What woman buys an expensive robe to preach abominable lies in? A DEMON!
I didn't think I was buying love because my gifts never broke the bank, just kept me in the same "broke" condition I was born in. Rarely did I get any gifts back. My relatives always showed great appreciation and surprise while receiving my gifts, never enough to give me a gift back.
I understand. Malignant narcissist are so selfish, giving you a gift never occurs to them. The reason being, they actually think their rhetoric will suffice. Plus they always have a long excuse for not having any money for a gift for you. The unfortunate truth is, they don't want you to have a gift. If they are mental midgets like my mother, they are looking for any and every opportunity to make you suffer.
That is an imp. "From such stay away."
I excused it, over looked it. I am the only girl , I reasoned. It wasn't my gender. It was Martha, my mother taught my brothers, my relatives to hate me. Why? That is the way she felt. What woman, what mother can give her beautiful little daughter away, deliberately plant her in a whore house, then rub that child's face in that filth for sixty-two years?
"You a bastard! Who knew a luddle black bastard like you would finish college!?" Martha said that boldly often, pretending to compliment me.
I do think my mother suffered with a form of retardation. Her condition was worse than that of any ordinary sinner. Martha was a horrid woman begging to be put out of her misery. Unfortunately for her she was so loved, so admired, so looked up to, we refused to see.
Murdering our grandfather was the pink elephant in the room for me. I understand my brothers had bigger issues they can not face. It takes courage, you do have to gird up your loins to deal with a monstrosity like Martha. You must have courage. You must face that slut , look her directly in her demonic eyes and demand that she sit her repugnant demonic ass down!
This woman had no boundaries. When a woman can not be shamed, corrected, admonished, criticized, she can not be helped. You will drown in that cess pool with her. She is a LIAR. Worse than a LIAR. A screaming, feigning, bangee. When a woman becomes so disrespectful to GOD that she puts all of her energy in some homemade hoodoo in order to practice incest, pedophilia and all types of perversion , you are in trouble.
Your life is going to be rugged. Thank GOD often. Thank GOD for every rare moment of peace, perhaps tranquility. Thank GOD for your ability to think critically, clearly. Clearly this woman is one sick demon. "From such stay away."
Jesus is the reason for the season. Christ was not born for us to go into debt trying to impress people that do not and will not ever love us. "Look at their fruit."
If you know the reason for the season, if you can feel the love of Christ in your heart, Praise the LORD!
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