How did you fall so low? Was it the Spanish Fly? Why would you take some crap like that?
No, I am going to tell on you. I must unless some other little raped child make all of the tragic mistakes you did, become a perverted unrepentant reprobate like you did. I must tell because there is some fallen woman, some where, that possesses charisma and cunning like you and will also demand to "preach".
There are enough people going straight to hell without the likes of you confusing them. You knew better. Oh, you knew all too well , that it why you were able to hide it so perfectly. You knew you were not going to get away. Now, satan did convince you that you would not care once you were dead. True, but what about your victims? What about your name? It will rot! GOD's Word says that your name will rot.
Let me tell you just in case you didn't know. Childhood sexual abuse is tantamount to MURDER! You two buzzards murdered my spirit, my self confidence, my self-esteem and laughed. You knew you were a horrid whore and delighted in that fact. You were raped, so the entire world should be raped. No one should ever have more than you, no one! You didn't have joy, so the world would not have joy. You did not love GOD, you hated GOD and demanded that we hate (Him) along with you.
Worse, you MURDERED your own father! No, you did not take the life of some worthless blowfly , (the type of men you always enslaved and exploited) . You MURDERED a good man and never had the decency to repent. Never put a headstone on his grave.
Don't worry, I'll take care of it. (GOD got this)
Granddaddy told you that "Time changes all things." He did not lie. The Bible says the fervent prayers of a righteous man availth much.
Look at me now?! Over here healing that broken tormented little girl. The baby you had and abandoned in a whore house. The little brown girl you cursed for being "crow black". The lonely little child you used to "jack slap" , and feed to your nasty "men" when you became overwhelmed by your sadistic lustful desires. Your only daughter, the one you hated and wanted to destroy with a vengeance.
You did not declare, you snarled; "I did the best I cud!" NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU DID THE BEST YOU WOULD. Well, your best was not good enough Martha. You didn't even do a good job of ruining me sufficiently. I'm still here and I'm climbing up out of that pit you sealed me in.
How you like me now Martha? Miss fake Mother of the Church!
I really don't mind that you treated me worse than a mangy dog for sixty-two years. I don't mind you devised every way you could to torture and ruin me. Whether you want to admit it or not, your demonic interference made me a better person than I would have been. I understand. "And indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." (2 Timothy 3:12)
I must admit when I first realized how truly sexually abused I was through your efforts, my own "mother", I fell apart for a minute. You did desire to destroy me and you did. It's cool. I get it and I get why.
"You should not have done that Mathy Jane."; is what I heard often. It's cool. I understand. "What GOD has for me is for me." What (He) had for you, was for you. You were hard headed, full of pride, full of lies and deceit. Cool. Your choice.
I would not be you, your Golden Child or one of your Flying Monkeys for all the money, power and prestige in the world.
"You the fool!" was your constant retort. No, Mathy Jane you are the fool. You lived the horrid life you lived, for what? You died still driving a second hand Cadillac, living in an old house that still has a mortgage. You were called the Mother of a church you hated! A "church" you felt was beneath you, your congregants were too illiterate and too black.
Woman! Don't you get it! You were so consumed with stealing the joy of others, you neglected yours. You were so busy lying and pretending, you missed out completely!
No, your life was not lived in vain. If you don't help anyone else, your sorry life sure helped me.
Praise the LORD!
No comments:
Post a Comment