Armchair quarterbacks

For my entire life many have offered their unsolicited advice on how I should treat my mother. "Just forgive hur, forgit it!"

[My head spins! I want to scream! I want to grab this lame muthafucker and shake the shit out of them.  How the fuck can you tell me how to treat a beast? Your dumb ass doesn't even believe demonic beasts exist just because you have never encountered one.]

Martha laughed, always laughed, sneaky bitch.  Why didn't granddaddy tell us? Perhaps he did not know she was a full fledged beast but , he knew she was an evil pervert.   He knew she was a pathological liar and a brute. 

 He also believed greatly in prayer.  No matter what problem I brought to my grandfather  he always had the same answer; "Don't worry dawthur   …Jesus will fix it."

No, he never promised me Jesus  would be in a hurry, he never suggested GOD would take (HIS) sweet ass time either.   It is rather ironic.  Martha always complained that GOD was too slow. ( Perhaps that is why she turned to WITCHCRAFT. )

I know she didn't want  anyone to know who or what she really was.   I know she was extremely guarded and paranoid her entire life.   I know some big black secret always hovered over us.   Something no one was allowed to talk about.   I just assumed it was the secret about my "uncle" really being my brother.  I had no idea they were hiding the fact Martha was a "root worker." 

I've  told so much on her since her death.  It is like "I knew" but, "I didn't know".  I saw but  I didn't see.  I was shocked but, I just moved on and tried to survive by putting one foot in front of the other. 

I'm laughing ,  she would "throw" at you.   She would mail you a letter she shit in.   She could do "some things", did do "some things".

I'm still laughing.  My mother had a pet nigger, sixteen years her junior.  A zombie, a fucking zombie.  The nigger was a robot!  He kept her house clean, grass cut, clothes washed, cupboards stuffed, car washed ,  gassed up, gave her all his  money  and he was her chauffeur.

I do kind of understand why my mother opted for demonic power.  She had no faith, not real faith,  anyway.   She was just putting on, you know Jesus on the lips, far from the heart.  I'm sorry that she failed to realize that Almighty GOD has All power and all she ever had to do was ask (HIM).

I never could understand why she lied and pretended so much.  Didn't she know GOD always knew her heart? Did she care? Could she care?  No mater, all knees shall bow, every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is LORD!

Be abundantly blessed.