"Hostile NOT Docile"

Yes,  I will fuck a nigger up!

It was my senior year, my last Education class.  I can't remember the exact name of the course but,  N.C.A. &T. was attempting to prepare me to meet the real world.  The professor administered some type of personality test or index.  He scored them in class, called us up one by one to interpret our results.  When he got to me he said my personality was off the charts, that I was found to be hostile.

The year was 1973 and I can still remember exactly what I said; "What the FUCK you mean I'm hostile!?" True story.

I was in the fifth grade, Bowely Elementary school, Fort Bragg, North Carolina.  We were reading our social studies text aloud. We were covering slavery.  The author explained that slavery really wasn't so bad, that the blacks really didn't mind and the proof was their "docility", the fact that they were always happy, always singing.

The author went on to assure us that slaves were often well treated because they were so valuable, they were like human pets, part of the family.  I do remember sitting right there in Mrs. Dabinett's class, a tall very white woman covered in red freckles with long thick bright read hair.

I always liked Mrs. Dabinette until this particular day.  Out of all the students in the room she decided to point me out that day; "Gwendolyn! Aren't you glad for Abraham Lincoln? Aren't you glad he freed your people?"

All eyes were suddenly on me, racist Klan eyes burning through me, classmates sneering because I could not flip my hair, my eyes weren't blue.  I didn't even have decent clothes to wear.  I was smart.  That is all I have ever had, "smartness" .  So, I have always paid racists crackers back by knowing more than they do.  By making sure I always made the highest score on every test.  I became a ravenous reader around age eight hiding out in the public library from my nasty psycho mother and her husband.

While I acquired knowledge I grew in confidence. While being molested I vowed to fuck a nigger up! No, not just black niggers, niggers come in all colors.  I think trump is a nigger and he is going to act niggerish.  He lies just like a damn nigger, lies without cause, will just volunteer a lie when the truth is in his favor.

I do not think any racist in the world is worse than some closet demon in your family.  Dear LORD deliver all people from color struck demons in their families.  Shut them down LORD! Expose them and shut them down.

"Come ye out from among them."