Praise GOD! I fully understand!

My poor "birth" mother fell so low there was no way she could recoup, regroup or find any form of salvation without repentance.  She insisted that she could.  The excuse that she offered, the stupid justification she screamed in your face,  made no sense; "I'm light bright and damn near white!"

Why did my "birth" mother try to pretend the color of her skin guaranteed her certain privileges? Born in 1925, in the rural south , did that slave mentality taint her? No. Martha Jane Walters was just jealous. Extremely envious, extremely ignorant, treacherous, whorish and lying.  Very brutal, a savage.

Dear LORD why did my "birth" mother demand to preach? She never believed one word she "preached".  Was the ministry her idea,  or just part of the evil one's plan?

  She loved the accolades, the money, her throng of blind followers.  Martha led her own family and friends into captivity deliberately because satan was her god.  Martha Jane Walters hated  GOD, all goodness and she hated me with a passion.  No matter what disgusting repulsive thing Martha did to me, to others,  she was not apologizing, ever.

That is pride! Clearly pride; "Pride goeth before a fall."  My poor "birth" mother fell so low with her hardheaded self, she needed chains.

Pray, study, fast, seek GOD's face.