How blind can you be?

How blind can you be? How blind can we be? I was blind and could not see. You held me captive in those woods between the highway and granddaddy's house. I was three years old and you cursed me like I was thirty. You cussed me until I went blind. I was screaming to the top of my lungs. You could not hear me because I learned to scream silently. I learned to cry dry tears because I didn't have any wet ones left.

You were just as demonic then as you are now. The thought of you makes my flesh crawl. All those sick things you did to me, did to us. Why did we keep your secrets? Was it fear? Or were we just blind? Blinded by your charisma, your gift of gab, your brilliant "logic", your crushing pronouncements over our lives?

I developed into a very stoic "hard little nut to crack" because I didn't want to hear your famous; "The more you cry the less you piss!". I didn't want to hear your diabolical hideous laugh.


Why did you "drop a cussing" on me away from my grandfather's eyes and ears? Because you knew better! You are not nearly as crazy as you make out. All of your evil has been done out of ear shot, out of sight.

What does that mean? That means you are a demon that loves being a demon, is glad that she decided long ago to become a demon.

I was looking at you. I saw you and I studied you but I didn't know what I was looking at.

You are a demon Mathy Jane caught up in a perennial search for something and someone to hate. At every stage of my life I have been your target. I let you get away with it over and over because I didn't know what I was fighting. I foolishly believed that forgiving you would help you and you would ultimately change.

You have taunted and tortured me over and over for my entire life. I know you can't stop. You are powerless against the whims of Satan.

I guess I didn't see the demon in you because I didn't know to look for him. Like most people I had some preconceived notion about a man in a red cape carrying a pitch fork. I had no idea that Satan could possess my beautiful mother. Your evil is an inconvenient truth that I refused to accept for fifty-eight years!

There you were standing over my new born trying to deafen her. Your eyes were blazing red, but I didn't know what I was looking at. I managed to scream; "Mother! What are you doing!?" "I wuz jest trying to see if she can hear?" What a whacked lie! Did I believe you? Or was I just afraid of you? Was I afraid to know the truth?

I sat there watching you gyrate your pelvis in the young man's face. Time stood still, every eye in the day-room was on you. It was the young men that felt embarrassed and moved your orgy into another room. The four young men cared more about my feelings than you did. I heard a quiet chorus hoarsely whisper; "That's her mother!" I pretended not to care. Again I was stoic. I sat there frozen afraid to think while you were in that room with four robust young men doing only GOD knows what. Four young men, twenty years your junior cared more about me, more about my feelings than you did. I am sorry, but I was blind. I was blind and refused to see.

Don't you dare try to defend yourself. You are caught. You are busted. All these years you have suffered under the delusion that you are winning, that you are getting away. That you are the smartest, the most successful demon that ever lived.

"Shame on you." That's what granddaddy told you. I concur; "Shame on you."

You blew it, you messed up bad. Nothing has changed. Apart from Christ you are STILL nothing.

"Go out the world backwards like you did when you first came here." Play ignorant, pretend to be stupid, put on a another "coon" act, make sure you continue in your wrong doing. There is no point in your changing now. I promise to spit every time I hear your name.

To GOD be the Glory. I know that GOD has a purpose and a plan for every life. I admonish you children; study your Bible. Learn GOD's WORD! Put on the whole armour of GOD and never shrimp in the face of Satan. If you see a demon call them out! Snatch their clerical regalia off.

Be a blessING and be blessed.

Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel