What are you waiting on?

What are you waiting on? I know you are not waiting on GOD to rescue you. I know you are not waiting for eight-five years of lies to suddenly magically turn into the truth. You can't be waiting for me to say that it's all a lie and I made it all up for attention, that I'm jealous of you and that I am so hideously black that I turned to drugs and lost my mind.

What lies did you tell on me to protect yourself? I'm crazy, I'm a drug addict, I don't have good sense. Your doctor son is a hopeless mentally ill cocaine addict. Your *Carson baby is a hopeless drunk. All you "children" are worthless losers always begging you for money. You have never been able to get ahead in life for worthless no count niggas scheming on your money.

You poor poor lady, socially repugnant, stupid without a cause, unreachable and unteachable.

Your mother told you not to get pregnant for that "old man". You went "right on" and did it anyway. Selfish and unconcerned, no one's opinion or "laws" mattered. You didn't care about the baby or your parents. You didn't care about the community or your church.

Did your mother help you play poor innocent victim when he didn't marry you? I assure you that pretending that you were taken advantage of and that you didn't know where babies came from are the machinations of a complete social retard. A human being unfit for human companionship. You are unfit! You tried to deafen my daughter and you tried to scald her her with a hot cup of coffee! ( Why did all of your children suffer terrible burns?)

No, I know exactly what you did. GOD knows exactly what you did and why. You wanted to exalt yourself. You wanted to secure your place at the "top of the bottom". Too lazy to study and earn a degree. Too lazy to do anything but tell lies and trade your body you woke up one day and the entire world had passed you by. Not one to let your father's constant annoying admonishments prove to be correct you targeted your family. You starved your children for love and affection in order to manipulate them. According to your plan I was going to be pregnant by fourteen. Was that your age when you first got pregnant?

You intended for me to be a worse whore than you which is impossible! Only a "mother" who did not want to have successful children would have so many brilliant intelligent children. Just your luck. I know, I know, with so much talent in the family you had to turn to "roots" to stop this madness, these tremendous intellectual gifts. Forbid your genius son from attending Governor's Honors. No one cares that he was the first black student in N.C. selected.

Play crazy, play deranged, wreck havoc, no one can stop you, you're the "Queen" and nobody knows but you. The devil himself could not come up with a scheme better, more fool proof than yours. You killed that interfering a** daddy of yours and got away with it. You are eighty-five, 'bout to be eighty-six. Ha-ha-ha! Who can stop Mathy Jane?

You thought you were getting away. No one would ever be clever enough to see through you. "Shucks", most of the time you confused yourself.

I know you can't help it. Every once in a while you fall prey to the bidding of the devil. It is nothing that you have to worry about. Your debauchery has never hurt you. So what your little girl had to suffer excruciating pain to satisfy your lust.

I know you are the only person that should matter. Every one should be glad to bow down and kiss your feet. You can't help it if you're so brilliant and the entire world is dumb.

I know I am the only dummy that will challenge you. Every one else is kind enough and polite enough to wait until you die. They know how to respect the "Queen", Madame Watson, Rev-ver-rand Watson. They know better! They would not dare defy you, tell on you. They are polite enough to turn their heads. After all they only got a little taste of your treachery. Severe back stabbing was reserved for the most talented, the most ambitious, those dumb enough to think that they could escape you.

So what are you waiting on? Are you some where trying to think of your best lie? What can you say, who can you blame now?

True this is a revolting truth that no one wants to know. People must know. People must know that they have hope. People must be assured that GOD will make intercession in your life.

Of course I never wanted to know this, acknowledge this or speak a word about it. The Holy Spirit compels me. All people need to know that the devil is a trickster and he will only lead you to ruin. That's where you are, ruined, a demon sitting up in a pulpit with a license to preach in her hand and NO GOD in her heart.

LORD! this irony is incredible! She called me "stanking" for having the courage to question her. But, I can smell her right now. I can smell her through this blog. She is putrid, she smells like rotting flesh. I see her, a once beautiful woman is now hideously ugly.

I see you without your robe, I see behind your gold cross. Go ahead, defend yourself, fix this "fine mess". Eighteen years of your torture didn't destroy me. All your fine treachery, "roots", plots, scams and schemes didn't destroy me.

What is the lesson here children? You better gird up your loins. If such tragedy could befall me so harshly for so long, if I could be forced to suffer in silence for fifty-eight years you better look well to your going.

You are going to need an anchor. That anchor is the LORD Jesus Christ. Read, study, contemplate and be blessed.

Remember, "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

Much Love, Peace and Happiness'
Rachel