Dear Bill,

First of all let me begin by re-affirming my great love for you.  I feel for you and your situation.  I hurt and cry for you.  Sir, you never met me, but you know me.  You know me quite well.

I am one of the abused, misused, haunted, hunted, hated and left for dead.  I wanted so desperately to believe my mother loved me.  I know she never did.  She never could.  My mother confessed to me that she was totally unable to love or care for another person .

She did not lie.  Of course I will never know why my mother was so evil.  I know that she was!  I know that she told me that she was savagely raped 3 times as a small child of eight years old.

 Most of the information I have uncovered on my mother's condition; Malignant Narcissistic Disorder state that an estimated 25% of sexually abused children will become sexual predators also.

It is true.  My mother became a very vile sexual predator that we were never allowed to see or mention. Like you and I, my mother was flawed.  All of us are flawed.  No one is perfect!

"We all have come short of GOD's goodness."  WE ALL HAVE SINNED! Praise GOD!  Good Christians  are forcing weak or fragile Christians to give up their quest for salvation for fear of being hated, reviled, misunderstood, rejected.

 I am sure my mother had no idea why she did what she did! It was as if she was not there. It was NOT "her".  It was some strange outer body experience.  It was someone else wearing her body.  She could not think about it. She did not want to hear about it.  She refused to hear it.  Say it if you dared to be that stupid. You would rue the day, sir.

It is not for us to judge.  It is for us to forgive.

I do believe my mother's rape destroyed her, murdered her innocent little soul.  For what ever reason she turned to "witchcraft", never good enough or confident enough to target or attack anyone other than close family and friends.  She did suffer mightily with a severe inferiority complex.  Did that savage rape render her unable to love herself?  Did she in fact carry demons that she collected from her practice of "witchcraft"?

Mr. Cosby, I am asking you to do some soul searching.  Go into your secret closet and pray.  Do like Jesus, fast and pray.  Make sure you are baptized! Repent of your sins.

Never hate.  Never deny.  If somewhere in the far reaches of your mind , could any of this be true?  Where you ever a "drug" user?

I have been crying and celebrating all day.  My mother was an awful woman.  The woman that we knew was "very complicated".  Finally facing the truth about her was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

She went to a psychiatrist once, only to deny his diagnosis.  There were times that she was normal , sweet as she could be.  There were times she became savage and carnal or physical and murderous.

She blamed her entire life on me.  Projected her filth on me.  Died hating all of us,especially me, claiming that everyone hated her and was jealous of her.  She was an ordained minister that "worked roots".

Mr. Cosby,  please establish or endow a "Think Tank" dedicated to understanding this malady.  Lead the world in bringing understanding to "human thinking", to understanding, naming and identifying serious psychological issues like bi-polar and narcissism.

We should all love each other and not be so free to hate passionately without understanding.  Remember, our greatest teacher reminded us; "He that is without sin, cast the first stone."

GOD bless and keep you mightily.  Bring you to the light, wrap you in His warm and tender arms.  He loves you, He loves ALL of us , no matter what.

Sincerely,

Rachel G. Doster