I get Misty

It is very important that you listen to this video.  This was the song my mother played often on her Hi-Fi  stereo in the late 50's. You must understand, owing your own Hi-Fidelity stereo in the 1950's meant something, if was a sign of status, particularly if you were "colored" or negro.  We had not yet accepted the word "black".  It was considered highly offensive.

 I loved when she played music.  I enjoyed the music, but most of all I enjoyed the personality change it brought out in her.

I started listing some of the personalities that floated in and out of my mother. I think I am up to 9; Mathy Jane, Martha Jane, Janie, Martha Jean, Madame Watson, Rev. Watson, Madame Rico, MARTHA, and Mother.  Most were evil, ignorant and extremely jealous.  I think that MARTHA, was the ring leader, she orchestrated all the mischief, did all the plotting and made the assignments, came up with all the delusions.

Mental illness is no joke! Compound mental illness with witchcraft, racism and ignorance and you are going to produce a lot of tragedy, tremendous agonizing pain, and sadly for no good reason.

 Every day GOD sheds just a little more light on our family tragedy.

I refuse to be ashamed as satan wants.  I want to be made whole.  I still want my family to be made whole.  I did foolishly believe my mother would apologize one day.  I know now she deliberated strung me along, pretending that a great apology, a great confession was on the tip of her tongue.  The bitch was stalling, biding her time, pretending to be the exact opposite of what she was.  I sure was wrong on that score.  There was no good in her.  Jesus told me to shun all evil.  I didn't listen. I wanted a mother.   My love and kindness would convince her, would change her finally.

I am just going to admit it! I am ashamed of my pusillanimous family. Dear LORD, you planted me in a family of coons (NOT ALL, just most).  LORD, I know for a fact, very few of my relatives have ever read a complete book!  Anti-intellectuals, fakers, cheats, liars, phony, brutal bullies writhing with envy and covetousness .

My mother was very intelligent, perhaps not nearly as brilliant as she claimed, but she was no dummy. Lazy as a dog! Common as a dog! As savage and ignorant as a cave man!

Maybe it's me? I don't understand how anyone can put "Black lives matter" on their status and know full well a close relative murdered a close relative and never so much as mumble?  JEROME WALTER'S LIFE MATTERED!  God did not send my grandfather to this earth to be assassinated by his demon possessed, evil, greedy,lying, daughter! And his family just say ;"Oh well …he was old anyway …jest forgit it! ain't nobody gon' believe you! You gon'look lak a fool! MY MOTHER WAS AN ORDAINED MINISTER!."

That is UNCIVILIZED! I don't care what color you are. Regardless of your financial status, your behavior does not please GOD.  "Take it tuh yo'grave!"; were always her instructions.

I went from being "administrator" to "a piece of shit! …she bed not piss on my grave when I'm dead!"  I did send a pastor to pray with her the day before she died.  I did not know she was in a coma.

All my brothers have abandoned me, per her request.  Every last one of us bear her scars, burns, scaldings, bloody bludgeoning , sexual molestations, rapes and only GOD can know what else.

"LET IT GO GWEN!" my intelligent brother screamed. He admitted that he was still terrified of her.  I can understand that.  She did label him her "Golden Child" but he also was never more than her dirty washrag.  I know he does;t want to know.  I know he doesn't have the heart to face his truth.   I pray he will.  I pray everyday, all day, for the salvation of my entire family.

I know that no man, no son, wants to admit that his own mother was common! Too common to tell on.  Too common to discuss.  This whore tried to pretend that "sex" was so good that she just could not help herself and that she was giving us a leg up on our peers.  Is that what you are hiding brothers?  Did your mother introduce you to "sick sin"?

All I know is what she tried to do to me, over and over.  I was finished, frigid, no interest.  Those two buzzards ruined me at eight.  I was ruined for life.  My mother facilitated my desire to "crucify my flesh".  She made it quite easy.

  My GOD, does a white man have to do everything for us?  If a white man doesn't call it murder, it is not murder?  If a woman talks real sweet (to your face),  and you don't see any visible signs of tremendous debilitating evil (just hilarious evil, like wiping her ****** *** in a letter and mailing it to her daughter!), she makes you laugh. so she must be alright.

After all she didn't do it to you.  Why should you care?

My grandfather was not a roach, a dog, a whoremonger, or something no count. He was a great man, with great wisdom. His life has meaning.

Why should  my "kin"  be any different from any other hate filled,  mislead,  selfish, self centered group of people?  People that have been down so long, getting up has not occurred to them.   The Emancipation Proclamation and the 13th amendment don't mean much to volunteer slaves.

P.S. Erroll Garner wrote Misty.  He stood only 5 foot 3 inches tall and COULD NOT READ ONE WORD OF MUSIC! He played by ear! Praise the LORD. I am glad a woman like  my mother did not get her hands on him.  The world would have been deprived of some great music.



{Excerpt from THE JR WALTERS CHRONICLES  December 21, 2014  All rights reserved.]