The side eye ...

When I think about it, I know I always looked at Martha out of my side eye.   At 2,3,4,…I never trusted her.  No, we never bonded.  For one thing she gave me away.  She told me all about it, used to laugh.

"I gave yo' black ass away.  Gave you to a madame dat ran a ho' house ….my mama made me go git you.  She assed me; 'whur dat pretty yalla baby you wrote and told me you had?'   I told her I gave you away and she screamed; 'GO GIT HUR!  YOU GO GIT HUR RAT NI! YOU DON'T GIVE MY BLOOD AWAY!"

Question? Why would any woman relate that story to a tiny little girl?  What was her message? "You wuz born yalla but you turned BLACK! Black as a crow.  Eva'body said you wuz gon' turn black.  You wuz born high yalla wid freckles! But the top of your luddle ears wuz jet black.  Sho'nuff…within 6 months yo' ass wuz jet black."

First of all color should not matter.  But, I'm brown.  I am a brown person.  I love my skin.  I know now Mathy was just looking for a reason to justify her irrational hatred.  She was never going to admit to herself that she was a fallen woman.  She would never admit that extreme promiscuity destroyed her already low reputation and no decent man would ever marry her.  They would freely roll in the hay, leave her pregnant and never bat an eye.

I am of the belief that Martha bought that whole "you yalla and got good hair" lie, lock stock and barrel.  When she found out her color did not open the doors she had been promised, it was too late.  Ruined, Martha turned to lying, brutality, cruelty, extreme manipulation and cunning.  Said GOD was too slow.

When did she turn to witchcraft?  Was it before she found herself pregnant at 16? Did she resort to it to punish all of the people that called her common?

I am trying to look at this situation as objectively as possible.  It seems from an early age Martha was stabbing, bludgeoning and attempting to murder.

Did grandaddy know his only daughter was afflicted with demon possession?  I used to hear him warning her about going to hell.  He told her that when she was playing Madame Watson.  She made a lot of money completely ripping people off.  Convincing people they only had days or weeks to live unless they sacrificed large sums of money.  Madame Watson would assure them that the money was not for her.  She was going to throw the money in the Cape Fear river or bury it or burn it up.

Madame Watson could get your nature back, wife back, husband back.  Madame Watson could get you anything you wanted.

At 14, I laughed, thought it sad, but I laughed just the same.  "Ni, Gwen, you gon' be my greeter.  You seat them."

I remember now,  this is one time Martha was actually interested in having a clean house.  All of her activities were conducted in her large kitchen.  A very long table cloth was draped across the formal dining room table.  The extra long tablecloth hid her jars of worms and any and all props she needed to completely con you. She wore gypsy looking garments and head wraps in order to play her part more effectively.  A brilliant actress, she mimiced the voice of an islander, a Jamaican.

I must admit my mother was good.  Get in trouble and have to go to court.  Madame Watson would give you some "dust" to shake.  "Darlinnnnnng, you must get to the courthouse early. Early I say. Sprinkle this dust in every corner of the court roooom! Try to go behind the judge's bench.  Put little bit in his chair.  Put tiny little bit on the stand.  Pay me.  I promise, no harm come to you."

Sure enough! They would come back every time victorious!  Many would give her some extra money because they were so elated and hopeful.  Later Martha would admit to me;"Shit dey won't gon' do nutting' to duh nigger no way."

I remember my mother bragging to me about how a particular cousin felt indebted to her for helping her  get her husband back from a white woman he left her for.  "Shit, duh nigger wuz coming back anyway.  Don't nobody want dat sorry nigger."

The poor dumb country bumpkins that felt so humbled, lowered their heads as they entered our home, scrapped their feet on the welcome mat repeatedly, broke my heart.  Some removed their shoes like they were on holy ground.  Some paid her in home cured hams, bushels of sweet potatoes, collard greens, bushel of sweet white corn.  Some brought their Welfare cheese or huge cans of government mystery meat in exchange for a reading or some of her precious "goofer dust".

I watched my mother deliberately exploit the ignorance of others and remained mum.  (YOU DAMN BLACK ASS NIGGERS DONT TELL A MUTHAFUCKING THANG DAT GO ON IN DIS HOUSE!)  At least granddaddy would remind her that she was going to hell.  She would laugh.  Paid my grandfather absolutely no attention.

Long story short, she never profited .  Just as soon as she would swindle some one, some one else would swindle her.

Read your Bible children.  Study to show yourself approved.   Seek GOD First!  Everything else will be added unto you.  Never, never, fear evil.

Did my grandfather know how deeply disturbed Martha was?  Did he know to shun her but failed to do so in order to protect his grandchildren?  He always claimed we were the jewels in his crown.

"My mama  wud lie fo'me.  My daddy wudden.   My mama telling' eva'body I wuz married,  Dis nigger goin' 'round Wade telling eva'body I wudden!"

Is that why you shot him in the heart Martha? Or was it just the legion of demons that engulfed you?  You became so delusional I must take medication for severe depression.

Dear LORD thank you so much for revealing my awful truth to me.  Do the same for my family LORD.  For all my kit and kin.   Open their eyes and ears, enable them to live the abundant life you promised.

Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."

P.S. If you are a beautiful intelligent woman and you loved Martha, you need to know she "rooted" you too. In box me on FB and I will send you a prayer.  It will deliver you! I know it will because it delivered me.

[Excerpt from THE JR WALTERS CHRONICLES   December 11, 2014  All rights reserved.]