We call it pride, it is actually a form of stubbornness, rebellion. My mother was wrong, knew she was wrong but , preferred to play vicious ignorant murderous succubus before she would humble herself.
"Many are called, few are chosen." I don't know if Martha felt unworthy, didn't believe, or was actually afraid of exposure, to stop lying. I know she came here to this earth and acted the pure demonic fool for eighty-seven years. She was never more than a selfish user, an exploiter, a predator. A coward that targeted the elderly, the infirm, the innocent. That is "weak faith". "Oh ye of little faith." Martha preferred to believe in her primitive ignorant hoodoo before she would actually serve a just GOD.
What did she expect? What did I expect? Little small minded, mental midget Mathy witnessed her successful schemes and began to believe her own press. Yes she did commit sins that can never be repeated. Yes she did blame her victims and hold us hostage for her mistakes. Martha could and did justify every evil deed she ever committed. There are far too many women on this earth exactly like Martha right now.
GOD said No! "Come ye out from among them."
I think I expected a miracle. I really did think she was going to repent and apologize because she preached so eloquently, so convincingly. She knew what was right. She knew full well she was wrong. Unfortunately that is how selfish she was. Martha was number one in her eyes. It was alright to tell vicious lies on the innocent if it protected her, made her look good. Any lie would do. Morals, a sense of integrity were so unnecessary to her. It was foolishness. Why live right when all you had to do was act like you lived right? Who ever heard of a preacher that preaches against honesty? Faithfulness?
Why ever tell the truth about anything when you could manipulate so well? Martha bossed us around, terrorizing and controlling us because she could not control herself. A closet sadist! A closet lesbian! A closet "root worker" that did derive tremendous pleasure from inflicting pain.
Why love when hate is so delicious? Martha was the champion of clandestine, covert, sneaky, sly slippery egg sucking dog. That was the price she was willing to pay for her "gifts". Yes, she could read palms, Tarot cards perfectly. Yes, her "dust" was famous.
But consider the cost. Was it worth it? So, you fooled a lot of people for a very long time. You still didn't get away. You made mistake after mistake because of pride, because you refused to listen.
Pride! If you are wrong, admit it. If you are a liar, stop. Repent of your sins, do it now.
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