Stop living a lie!

This is the real world! Quit playing.  I do think my poor evil monstrosity mother was playing.  A spoiled rotten brat , play acting until the end.  When was Martha ever held accountable for a single action?

She "punked" her own daddy out!  She was a beast!   "Cutting the fool on him, on *Henry Rankins' porch , right on Highway 301, sealed her deal.  A known demon,  pure evil-sold-out-for-satan-disciple, reprobate, incorrigible ,  fool.   She won.  Mr. *Wifford, had to save her daddy's life!  This young hell-e-un was only 16, known to turn out hell.  Known to send satan running and seeking cover.

Martha Jane Walters had to be endured.  She had to be allowed to "let" until she be "taken out of the way."   We had to learn first hand how we have strayed, gotten away from that Book.  We had to see up close and personal how we let satan lead us into captivity unawares.

Martha was my fieriest demon because she very successfully attacked my psyche , my self-esteem.  Got me early, started her secret war against me while I was still in her corrupt womb.   She was very free with epithets, with pronouncements over my life.  "You ain't ****!"  "YOU TOO LAME!"  YOU A GOODY-TWO-SHOES!"  "You too black!"  "Ain't no man nevah gon' want you."

Psychological taunts and digs.  Constant, unrelenting.  Always artfully hidden in between "caring" or "giving", always behind a sweet smile.  I want you to know, I want the whole world to know, I knew.  Of course I knew.   Being around her, Martha, Martha Jane, Mathy, Mathy Jane, Mathy Jean, Madame Watson, Reverend Watson, whom ever she was playing that day,  could unnerve you, make your hair stand up on the back of your neck.  No you could never quite put satan on it because Jesus was always in her mouth.  These demons, theses ravenous demons in sheep's clothing have a form of "godliness".  They can , will and do fool us daily.

This is precisely why you have to study your Bible INDEPENDENTLY.  I did ask my mother how she could read her "clients so perfectly.  She told me that their heads start to nod subconsciously when she hit the right subject and besides people only had there types of problems that mattered anyway., Love, Financial or Health!  My mother was a keen observer of human behavior.

 I always suspected she was a lesbian.  It was obvious!  She was a man-eater!

I didn't care.  We never cared!  But, don't go out,  do your dirt in the dark and come home overwhelmed with guilt and savagely beat your children, rape and ruin your own children because you know that you are pure filth!

Don't preach to cover your filth, to divert attention from your guilty promiscuous, pioneer freak, no-holds-barred-adventurous-free-love-Sodom and Gomorrah ***.

I have no way of knowing.   But I bet every savage act of complete cruelty leveled  on or at us by Martha was proceeded by some vile hedonistic act that she enjoyed the carnal pleasure of preforming but withdrew ,  denied and beat us with her guilt when she returned home.  Martha was conflicted because she was a LIAR!

Thanks to her I don't have to lie about my sexuality.  I have none.  My flesh is crucified!  No "nasty-ier" a woman has ever lived.   Don't sing and believe that song,   you do not want a freak in the sheets,  because she will be a closet demon, your worse nightmare.

My granddaddy advised me to never do anything that I WOULD BE ASHAMED TO ADMIT I DID.
Good advice.  satan has nothing to keep you bound with, no guilt, no shame.  While Jesus is calling you to the light, to the truth, you can't come because your own sick as a **** house rat mother, did deliberately lead you into some filth and the no mannered heifer , just left you there.  No mercy! No compassion! And you remain loyal! You deserve to suffer you dim-wit!  She bragged to every one he scrambled your brains like and egg.  How dare she make such a brag and you take it!

I am the only child that ever hit her back. the *itch slapped me and I slapped the whore back!   I was eight but I think I got that fight back impulse from her.   She always accused me of being a back talker.  Nothing you could do was going to make her happy.  If you succeeded, she was insanely jealous.  If you failed, she was equally jubilant.  Something to prove that she really wasn't as bad as people said.

You can't repent of your sins because they are far too repugnant to remember!  You would rather gouge your own eyes out with a dull, rusty spoon!  Of course you don't go to church! WHERE WAS GOD!!!?  WHERE WAS THIS LOVING *******************WHEN I NEEDED HIM!!!?

And this lying hypocritical pusillanimous world demands that you keep lock step.  Just lower  the deeply disturbed whore into the ground,  as quickly as possible.    Pretend like you are not affected.  "Go on with your life!"  Knit your damned black ***, ruined, every-dream-snatched self,  back together.  Let your ***** relatives gloat!  Dumb ***, never finished high school, lecherous, lusting, predatory imps.

"Get thee into a far country!…get to stepping!  …shake the dust off of your feet! leave no forwarding address…no caller ID!? , you better leave a message…if YOU be kin, you are No friend!"

The "thang", that albatross, hauled off and died at 87,   without so much as an "excuse me", "I'm half way kinda sorry".    I did think she had more manners.   I did so look forward to her apology, after all she did preach GOD's WORD.  

Don't worry about it.  It is all in Divine Order.  I kept the faith.  I know my redeemer lives.  GOD has turned all of my pain into prosperity!

I do not want to be associated with people low enough, common enough,  to cloak for a dead demon.  They have to be,  just as wicked, just as lost, just as deceived.