I don't know what that was, it blew through here , going 87 long, slow, treacherous, horrendous years of misery, lying, perversion, cloaking, hiding.
One day the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said; "(forget) that bitch! Run nigger! Run nigger, run!…you done walked in on satan at his worse. Don't hang around trying to explain or convince people of this hobgoblin. You know, get to gittin'! This demon, these legion of demons Mathy Jane , did deliberately collect, did use at her discretion, done got loose. Mathy Jane lost control. She is dangerous! Don't trust her and don't trust people that trust her! (They are dumber than you are.)
Please permit me to digress in order to share this story. My mother was a "root worker" and she was good. My mother told me that her first mother in law ran her off with "roots". We laughed. She got rid of her second with "witchcraft". She was slipping and that pretty fine trophy husband got away from her.
Martha vowed that would never happen again. She caught another young fine man, easily manipulated. Once Martha found out his mother abandoned him as a small child, it was like taking candy from a baby. His check was her check for the rest of her life.
He did threaten to leave her once. I am sure he wondered more than once why he was living with this evil woman, gladly handing over all his earnings, forced to pretend he was her brother so the church would not know she was shacking. Like all of Martha's husband, he was given an "allowance". What ever Martha allowed you to have.
Well he made the serious mistake of announcing he was leaving, declared it! was defiant! He was not going to take her abusive manipulative shit one more day! (Should not have done it. Should have slipped away like everyone else) He spent his entire nest egg, brewed money from the VA bought a huge, beautiful mobile home and land. He was on his way until that morning he woke up in the middle of the floor stricken with excruciating pain, yellow skin turned burnt black, peeling off and falling to the floor like a snake shedding it's skin. The doctors called it shingles. Mathy laughed because she knew.
No, he never even mentioned leaving again.
I can hear my grandfather's voice today, as clearly as I heard it over 60 years ago; "You done run out dawthur! You can't go no lower."
Of course I had no idea what the argument was about. I can tell you trying to live and love Martha Jane Walters was an impossibility. You could not love her. "She" was not there. Martha offered a phony imitation of a "good woman". And was pissed that she had to put on a show of decency periodically.
Martha, really only lived for one thing, to be worshipped, adorned, heaped with accolades, swamped with gifts. Gifts that she could mock and throw away, and give to one of the many "lesser thans".
Martha was the kind of woman that behaved in the way of the oppressor. Whites or racism oppressed her. She in turn oppressed every one foolish enough to love her.
Martha Jane demanded to be loved and worshipped for the color of her skin. Character, never mattered to Martha, because she had none. There is one good thing I finally found out. Her closest sister/cousin was someone she really hated and was extremely jealous of. I know now Martha pinned a lot of her actions on her sister/cousin.
For example; "Common as bat shit! She wud screw a snake if you held hiz head" Martha was talking about herself.
There is a purpose in every pain. "Looking through a glass darkly…" I will spend the rest of the day studying that scripture.
Make sure you know, no one can define you. Martha wasted 87 years of her life playing house and church. Died lying, a coward and hating herself.
Thank you, granddaddy. It is all coming out in the wash.
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