All but a few days shy of ...

my sixty-fifth birthday, still birthing my truth.   I am still that little seven year old girl so stricken with grief she can not speak, can not make an utterance.  Dear LORD, thank you for the courage to finally reveal that awful demonic beast that deliberately stalked and vexed me for sixty-two years.

First of all LORD I just want to thank you for finally snuffing out her "darkness".  Dear LORD deliver every innocent child born into the clutches of sick sadistic vile carnal mothers .  Heal us just as soon as you can LORD!

No, I still do not understand why Mathy demanded to be a vile, lecherous, raping,  molesting beast we were not even permitted to complain about!  Just who is that stupid?  That wicked?  That poor man, that third legal husband , that was far too young for her,  suffered.  She made him suffer just like she did us.

Good enough for the dummy. You do not move in with and start shacking with an older woman  you only knew for thirty minutes, that is married and has four children.  Really five, but she pretends one is her brother.

I am laughing hysterically to keep from crying.  There were far too many days you could smell our bathroom down the street.  We lived with six men with poor aim.  I didn't know Mathy thought she was some kind of "prim a Donna" , and considered herself too good to scrub toilets.  I know now it was her stupid jealousy against me, her deliberate conspiracy against me, that fueled her abominable behavior.  She didn't want me to "take company."  Martha did not want me to have any joy because she really did blame me for all of her woes.  Not just me, everyone.  All the low common nigger men that impregnated her and left her.  I'm laughing, Martha never mentioned she was a nymphomaniac that sometimes took Spanish Fly.  (Martha was one promiscuous whore that never needed anything to stimulate her sexual drive.)

My mother's filthy house did arrest my development.  She got that right.  I didn't do a lot of socializing.  I did have pride.  Martha was just too filthy.  You could not keep up with her destruction and the five males she let run loose, no "house training" what so ever.

Martha never hung up one piece of clothing, never put the top or lid back on anything.  Never put up her car keys or had any idea where her five sets of eyeglasses were.

"YOU DAMN NIGGERS GIT UP AND HEP ME FIND MY MUTHFUCKING KEYS! GET THE FUCK UP!" 

Every one lives for the week-end, not us.  That bitch was going to be home! Just starting shit for no reason and making everyone miserable.

I made it!

Only you LORD!

Praise GOD Almighty!