"Oh ye of little faith"

My mother explained that our world was predatory, it was "dog eat dog" and that you had to be a dog in order to survive.  She told me people like my grandfather were stupid, that honesty and waiting on the LORD was stupid.

I do know my mother confused extreme sick cruelty for courage.  (LORD give me strength.) My mother was diabolical!  She was a two legged viper!  There may be many women exactly like my mother but none lower.

Delusional, completely demon possessed, Martha prided herself in her ability to spoil, to end, to destroy.  She was a mother of six living children that  she did hate  with a passion.   She did blame us for ruining her life.  Martha did admit to me how much she hated her "first born".

That is the caveat, the crux of her problem.  Martha lived eighty-seven years never being honest with herself.  While Martha was a promiscuous whore she loved/hated it.  She was one of the most liberated women I ever heard of.  My mother drove that long power blue  convertible Bonneville, Pontiac down to Vick's Drive Inn nightly  and parked .  Well,  she did more than park, she fulfilled her fantasies with the tall fine young soldiers!  Good looking, "high yalla", long money having , long car driving,  bored housewife Martha had her way.

"Don't you black muthafuckers tell a muthafucking thang dat go on in dis house!"

Sure enough, Martha fornicated to her heart's content Monday through Saturday night but you could be sure she was going to be warming that pew all day Sunday.

That is not the way Martha.  That is not what GOD wants.  (HE) wants our heart, our love, our sincerity.  GOD wants our faith.  (HE) wants us to free fall into (HIS) arms!

Martha was conflicted.  She demanded to live her life without criticism, without notice but she demanded to ruin others  because she was a pedophile, she committed  incest,  engaged in group sex.   Worse, she hated me with a passion for knowing, for saying something, for criticizing , for suggesting that I was trying to help.

The more I helped, the more I poured hot coals on Martha's head.  The more she burned, the more she hated.

Pick a side.  That was Martha's problem.   She did pick a side but was ashamed of the side she picked and was much too cowedly to ever admit it.  The fact she was a spineless coward feed her awful secret cruelty.  Martha's mind was gone.  Lascivious. Martha's feet ran swiftly to mischief.  She was a sadistic freak.  We endured, we survived, we can be saved.

Martha would go some where and engage in only GOD knows what secretly then come home and raise demonic hell with us!  No food!  Onion sandwiches! Mustard and Mayonnaise sandwiches.  GRITS AND GREASE!  Humiliating us by making us wear rags while you drive a top of the line Cadillac.

You dared GOD to stop you, laughed in GOD's face, MURDERED your own daddy! What did you get!?  You reaped shame, just like the Scripture predicted you would!

"Come ye out from among them."