Critical Thinking ...

is key to every one's survival.  It is very important that you acquire knowledge, build on that knowledge and protect yourself from predators.  I was fourteen, stuck somewhere in some filth attempting to clean my mother's nasty house.  For some reason we were in a period of Martha's greatest  filth.  I know now that was a symptom of her deep depression.  My mother just slides up to me whispering; "If you eva' need anything, condoms, Emco, just let me know.  I'll git it fuh you….I know you have urges."

Extremely jealous Mathy Jane was trying desperately to ruin my life.  Luckily for me she was too sneaky to just demand that I have sex, so she tried to plant the idea in my head. Martha had to be the most manipulative woman that ever lived. While her behavior was childish, her deeds were as old as the world and all led by satan.  She was a full fledged lascivious reprobate, too terrifying to reveal while she was still slithering on the earth physically. When I recognize the plans my mother had for me I shiver.  Dear LORD, I am humbled.  I know I'm blessed. Thank you.

No,  you knew you were wrong , you horrid demon possessed sorceress.  You deliberately made a sex toy out of me while I was still an infant! You made me a eunuch.  So, your plan to make me a promiscuous whore like you failed.

I get it now.  Martha's intellectual and emotional maturity never reached the level of a pre-adolescent.  In many ways Martha was retarded, an absolute imbecile in terms of her ability to interact socially with others.  It was the newly freed status of blacks , our  condition of neo-slavery ,  that kept Martha in full control of us.  Plus, she was too difficult to understand and obviously Martha was something we did not want to understand.

I just wanted to be free.  I do regret those wasted years.  I must stop that.  Now that I know, I must move on.   I can not mourn for the friends and family I lost in the process of healing myself.   People that can admire Martha, people that still love her are not my kind.

I wanted Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best.  I fell for it.  How could I not. Most of us are blind sheep lockstepping, never bothering to think for ourselves.  Most people  lie, deny and finally die.

 GOD saved me though.  (HE) is trying.

Praise the LORD!