There was never any excuse for our mother. I was born and just got in line kissing her ass. Do know my mother's favorite brag was; "I keep your assholes open! I'm the one that feed you sorry muthafuckers."
The fact is my mother was extremely mentally disturbed. No, she wasn't that smart. She did convince us that she was brilliant and she could read those Tarot cards perfectly. I will never forget when she read the cards on a young beautiful woman from around Lumberton. My mother told her; "You are pregnant with triplets … you need to get rid of them."
Sure enough the young lady was pregnant with triplets and she was going with a married man that was very well to do and prominent. The women did get rid of the babies. How my mother knew I will never know. My mother did have "the gift". She could not only read your mind, she could control your mind.
Unfortunately she was very evil, extremely jealous of every one. When I say everyone , I mean EVERYONE! I know now she was a reprobate. Her feet were swift to run to mischief. Her secret hatred for me was never secret. I knew, I also knew that I could not win. Martha would beat you down. Yes, she would beat you into a bloody pulp then call the law on you.
Martha instilled the same kind of fear in us the slave master instilled in his slaves. Think about it. The first time I remember my mother going berserk, grabbing a shotgun and trying to kill someone, I was two. It was my uncle. I had been riding around with him all day. Just standing on the seat beside him hugging his neck as we tore through the dirt roads surrounding Wade, North carolina.
My uncle was one good looking man, a man in love with life, partying and drinking liquor. He was still very young, around twenty-four and of course he did what all twenty-four year old men did. He went from house to house drinking and cussing, just having fun.
We returned to my grandfather's farm after our adventure and my uncle made mention or criticized her for the way I looked, was dressed. As a two year old I remember , I was barefoot, unbathed, unkempt wearing a pair of raggedy "dirty draws". My mother tore into him screaming black ass niggers ain't shit! And she was going to kill him for insulting her.
She went for the shotgun. Granddaddy had to wrestle the shotgun out of her hot hands. She was ravenous. This is the kind of behavior I grew up witnessing. Martha was quick to grab a knife, gun, rock, pistol any instrument of torture near by to threaten you. Martha was not about to change her evil ways and you were not about to open your mouth! You were not ever going to talk about or criticize Mathy Jane for anything, ever!
You should not be surprised to know Martha held that one incident against my uncle forever. She reminded me of how she still hated him at his funeral. Seventy years later she was still full of secret hatred.
Yes, I suffered, was made to suffer horribly by my own mother. While part of me still wants to rage I know it is all in Divine Order. Every thing that woman and her fellow perverts did to me was shaping me, preparing me for this day. "For such a time as this."
My Mathy Jane Experience has taught me to never be a jealous hater. I learned that I am not forsaken. GOD loves me, pours (HIS) spirit into me, protects me, leads and guides me. I do thank GOD every day that I did not turn out to be the low common whore my mother was. She was controlled by her lust. How unfortunate. I feel very sorry for people that can not control their "nature". People that commit sexual acts they consider to be disgusting, that they loathe.
If you think it is wrong, if you would be ashamed to admit you did it, don't do it. Don't go about trying to destroy all of your critics. Please do not resort to WITCHCRAFT to commit every sick deed satan feeds into your little simple mind. Yes, my mother was homosexual. So! Who gives a shit? Do not do it then burn with shame.
I am mad, angry, frustrated realizing my own mother made every one suffer, brought down and entire dynasty because she wanted to be a lesbian. If you are a lesbian, be a lesbian! Enjoy the hell out of it!
No, you can't be an incestuous pedophile. If you are like that, if you have those proclivities, seek help. Ashamed to seek help, pray. Pray for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Pray to love. If you can't do any of that just leave people alone. Just stay to yourself, wait on death.
If you sense one of your loved ones is a demon like my mother, from such stay away. Don't go around them. Do not entertain their madness. No, do not lie and cloak for them. But, what ever you do, don't fear them. They have no power. They are sadistic. They do live to hurt and tear down. They can not get you, touch you or stop you if you go "no contact".
We all have a Cross to bear. We all have something, cancer, poor health, some form of misery. Know that GOD is with you. You do not have to resort to WITCHCRAFT, hating or plotting. You do not have to take low either. You do not have to let an evildoer win because she always won. Because she had her own theme song, because she was cruel beyond human comprehension.
World do know such women are possible and steer clear.
I'm taking my sixty-two years of abuse and shining! I'm glowing! I feel good. I am not smart enough to know or write one word of my never ending prose. I know it is Almighty GOD. I know, I recognize and I am humbled.
If you need some one to go GOD, send me.
Thanks for reading, thanks for sharing. Be abundantly blessed as you go about your day today and every day. Learn as fast as you can. Evil can't win and GOD maketh not ashamed. I am one raped, ruined, black bastard , torn asunder by my own mother, proud to tell the world ;" NO WEAPON FORMED AGAIST ME SHALL PROSPER!"
Old nasty Mathy Jane would have done much better using those eighty-seven years GOD gave her devoted to self improvement and living right rather than secretly and slyly trying to serve satan.
If satan has you bound, pray!
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