Some one please tell me why a man that was truly a Christian, a real Christ lover would take his own life at age eighty-four? Just why? One thing I know about my grandfather, he truly loved the LORD and the LORD truly loved him.
Yes, I was puzzled, confused but, mostly heart broken when my mother called me that Saturday morning with that awful news. My first thought was that she was lying. But, I could not bear this awful truth. I was not yet strong enough.
This world must fully understand vipers are real, vipers are brilliant ravenous wolves. This Mathy Jane that I called mother was a first class creep. There may be more women in the world just like her but, none worse.
I drove home immediately from Atlanta to Fayetteville. I don't remember packing. I do remember hitting the highway, speeding down the road unable to see. Tears just flooding my eyes, just screaming "No LORD! No LORD!" over and over as I approached 825 Dwain Drive. I do remember praying that this was all a bad dream. That I was going to wake up and every thing was going to be fine.
No such luck. My relatives had already packed the house by the time I reached Mathy Jane. I remember studying her every move looking for tell-tale signs of her guilt. None. Her hands did not shake, her voice did not quiver. She was the calmest , proudest murderer I had ever seen.
I tried to believe her. Well , granddaddy was old and sick, he only had one leg and Mathy could make any one want to take their own life. She had done it to me enough times. I came up with the Darvon excuse. Granddaddy took tons of Darvon for his severe arthritis. Darvon had been linked to suicide by the FDA.
Yes, I was deeply confused because I remembered how she had cursed him and demanded that he go ahead and die when I was home that Thanksgiving. I still could not believe it. Sure, I remembered what a lying two faced "root working" creep my mother really was but, even she could not be low enough to murder her own father.
No, I could not take my eyes off of her. No fear in her eyes and she was kind enough to "cry" when enough relatives came around. I kept giving her the "side eye", kept looking for signs of guilt. Well, it finally happened. We were in the bedroom where the awful deed went down. Mathy Jane proudly declared; "See whur your granddaddy put THE GUN BACK! SEE WHUR HE PUT THE GUN BACK AFTER HE SHOT HIMSELF!"
"The wicked fleeth when no one pursueth." Martha! He shot himself in the heart according to you. How in GOD"s name can a person shoot themselves in the heart and neatly place the gun back up on the headboard ?
Well, by and by, many years later 1988 I finally faced the fact, she did it! Time went on and I listened to Jesus when (HE) told me to go back home. Finally "that boy" came back home also. He was absent from our lives for twenty-five years! A medical doctor that we lost contact with because my mother could not control her evil jealousy and greed.
My brother came to live with me for five years. For five years he talked and he talked. I finally put the pieces of the puzzle together. MY LORD FROM ZION!
No, Mathy Jane I am not about to continue to be your foot stool. You were a horrible woman that pretended to love GOD, pretended to love us knowing full well you were never more than a ravenous wolf in sheep's clothing. Jesus told us that even in the last hour we could come into the Kingdom. I told you that many times. You refused to listen, refused repentance. At first I thought that it was shame that prevented you. No, you knew very well what side you were on. You knew you loved and served satan. You knew you were a very disturbed sadist.
I know Almighty GOD has been communicating with me for my entire life. I know your kind can not win and I have nothing to fear because there is power in that Name. All those that want to perish with the likes of a Mathy Jane, go right ahead. I won't!
Let evil demons, false preachers, reap. I'm going to trust GOD, just Free Fall into my Savior's arms.
If you don't know, don't want to know, then don't know. GOD taught me better.
Over here beaming! Testifying of the Goodness of GOD! Looking back and thanking (HIM) for where (HE) brought me from. "(HE) brought me from a mighty long way!"
Children, there is Power in that name Jesus. Don't you ever forget that. If you come across a Mathy Jane. If you ever find yourself in the deep clutches of a ravenous wolf , just call out (HIS) Name. (HE) is quick to save you.
Yes, I bragging, plum strutting, look what Almighty GOD did for me! What (HE) did for me (HE) can do for you. Just trust (HIM) because (HE) maketh not ashamed!
I press on in Jesus' name ...
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