"As a man thinketh ...

in his heart, so is he."  Brother James, got it right.  If you think you are a loser, you are a loser, a winner,  a winner.  But, be careful.  Do not let this world define you.

For 64 years I have been labeled as "crazy".  I am not crazy.  I am human.  I am normal, a normal "gutted fish".  A girl child rendered a eunuch by her own mother.  How tragic.  Every one screams; "Oh No!  Too bad, so sad  ….let's move on.  Let us never discuss this.  Let's pretend Martha Jane Walters,  is and was the only one."    Although Jesus clearly warned us.

No preacher will dare approach the subject of my mother from the pulpit. ( One did though. Changed my life! I salute you.)

My mother fully understood this scripture.  Feeling her life was washed up at 16 , when she found herself pregnant with her first born, Martha never tried.  Martha Jane Walters was a fallen woman that never tried to get up.  She merely pretended to get up.

Why should she?  She was "yalla", had "good hair".  When in actuality,  she was a whore.  When Martha found out,  that was just a line to get in her "draws", it was too late.  Again, as a man thinketh.  Martha always thought that she was a whore, so she was always a whore.  She did have whore mentality.

You could not shake it out of her.  Martha would gladly sell or trade her body for filthy lucre and she demanded everyone around her,  be of the same low calibre.  Don't you dare complain or fail to comply.  You would rue the day you ever thought about defying Mathy Jane .  

One unfortunate thing happened to me.   She permitted and arranged for my severe,  brutal,  savage,  sexual molestation,  "it"  rendered me  disinterested in sex.  "Foiled again!"  What must  Mathy Jane  do now?

 Stalk this poor innocent, miserable bird of prey.  Constantly scream at her!  Tell her she is too black!  Too lame!  Too nerdy!  Too hard lucked! Laugh! Laugh! Laugh! Pin your dirty sins on her! (No one will ever know. No one will ever care.  She is black.  Black people do NOT care about other black people.)

Martha found it difficult to control me without carnal motives.  Seriously, it would not have mattered.  I could have been the same carnal, promiscuous beast my mother.  She would have been  the same way.  There ws no saving Martha.  She had to come here.  She had to be.  "It is writte."

PTL!

I press on    ...