Introspection, it is therapeutic ...

every one should do it.  Things I didn't know, family "secrets" I was blind too, demonstrable terror that I was totally unaware of,  have "avalanched" their way to the forefront of my life.  Knocked me down,  to say the least.  I came into my own, to say the most.  I am free!  Unburdened, no longer confused and "complexed".  Still a little angry.  I do have that Fire!  I am on Fire for Jesus!  This is not new.  I've been on fire for Jesus since I came into the awareness of myself as a unique individual with the RIGHT TO THE TREE OF LIFE.

I am tired of fighting little piss ant imps.  Blowflies, vermin, clogging up GOD's Highway to the Kingdom.  Little ****ing retards, screaming lies the loudest.

Savage! Ignorant! Functionally Illiterate brutes passing themselves off as decent people.  What is their proof ?  They carry Bibles into the strangest places.  Their Bibles are old and faded, not from reading, but for riding around in the car.  (Help us LORD!)

"My people perish for lack of knowledge."

"LORD! I can't make them read!  They will not study!  And frankly, GOD, I  can hardly stand to be around them.  They embarrass me LORD.  They don't have any discipline or manners.  They never listen or take advise.  But they are always in my face begging. Drama and trauma!  I got to help them LORD!  They got them luddle churnen LORD!"

Warning!  "Look well to your going, your coming in, your going out."  If you curse or scorn me for that message, my message is not for you.  My message is for any one much like myself.  A good person, a good soul, that found herself "among thieves".  Thieves, MURDERERS, "root workers", soothe sayers, whores, pimps and perverts.

I am telling because I am so eternally grateful to GOD for sparing my life, for shaping me into the person I am today, I must share!  If you don't want to know, don't care to know, scroll on.

Private Notes

PTL! "My GOD from Zion!"  Mathy knew who, what and who's she was the whole time!  My LORD! My LORD!  This monstrosity done rose up from the pit of hell,  just to see if she could!  Did!  And got clean away!  The bitch came here, deliberately ****ed  up this world  for 87 Years!  Mocked GOD! Ruined us!  Laughed and finally ****ing died!  Declaring "No! I didn't make it and I made DAMN SURE NUN OF YOU SORRY BLACK MUTHA********* DID EITHER!  You were had and you were had bad!"

Well, I am conducting a complete investigation.

I, Rachel Gwendolyn Doster, the only living survivor with the "where-with-all" to demand justice.  Again, we were had and we were had bad.

  "No wonder she always sounded like a man." 

 "Mathy may have had too much male hormone."

 "Do you thank that man that raped her turned her into a monster? …kind's like when a vampire bites you …"

"I think you got something there."  I need to Google "Full moons on February 10, 1979".  

That bitch was a monster!  Any time your victims still fear you and yo'stankin'azz is ded!"

Praise the LORD!  Thank you for finally taking her LORD!  That is one reason I could not attend the funeral.  I might of blurted that out.  Eva'body making out lak they were so sad…. Bull shit! Them ********** was happy as I was.  I know *** was.  Should have been anyway.

I ain't suddin' him!  If he was half a man,  he would have cut that bitch's throat when he was twelve.  I half thought about doing it for him,  myself.

People's parents dying in car accidents, heart attacks, "the sugar".  Men getting killed in Viet Nam.  No such good news for us.

I always knew that damn Doster was a horny idiot.  The Klan should have got his ass.  The Klan ain't all bad.  GOD put vermin here to eat *"carne".  My cat brought me a big old dead bird.   I didn't move it fast enough.  When I finally came back to move it, it was gone, totally gone, the ants had eaten it.

GOD is the only wise One.  We know nothing.  He has Order.  I'm glad those two buzzards were able to do their filth right under granddaddy's inquiring nose.

Granddaddy would have killed that black mutha************!  Killed him dead!  Messing with Me!  "Oh you gon' die TODAY ***************************************!

"Kiss yo'azz goodbye mutha ************! No! You begged fo' this bullet!  Put me in jail!  I don't give a shit!  This world will be losing some scum today!"

"For want of a nail a shoe was lost.  For want of a shoe a horse was lost.  For want of a horse a battle was lost.  For want of a battle a kingdom was lost."

No matter your color or status in life,  you must study!  "Study to show yourself approved."  Get baptized in Jesus name!  Do not reject GOD,  based on lying ass hypocrites no-reading ass facts.  Get to know GOD for yourself, personally.

PTL!

I press on    …

*what may granddaddy called anything dead and rotting