"*What am seen …"

Just as clearly, just as consciously as possible, Martha was going to rob you, violate you in some kind of way.  You were not going to protest!  We were not going to so much as murmur.  If you were lucky she would include you in her "posse".  She would make you one of her "flying monkeys" and you could help her vex and torment her next victim.

"Next victim" is right.  "Canon fodder", human fuel, dung, excrement, something to laugh and pick at so "High yalla, good haired, self chosen, wanna-be-princess and queen Mathy Jane"  could pretend to be having fun.

Some one should have known, should have prevented "it".  Someone should have saved us.  The day little Mathy Jane smashed a puppy between two bricks, our lives were over.

Too much evil!  An evil too clever, too vengeful, much too stealth.  A woman that lived much too long as a miserable wretch.

I broke rank. I had to tell.  I suffered far too much for far too long.  She was NOT a preacher.  She wasn't even nice.  GOD told us not to mock Him.  She did!

No one will help me tell on her, on her kind.  I know for a fact, I did NOT have the only common, perverted, "root working", preacher/mother.  I know I have better sense than to fear her or her kind.

I also know that it is only a matter of time before all involved are exposed.

Sure, I know that my mother was very messed up, but it was by choice, all by her choice, her free will.

I know lying and covering up her mess , won't help.  I know that she demands it from the grave.  She won't get it from me.  She never convinced me that her life was more important than mine.  That she had the right to mistreat and torture me because she "had me".  Because i was just another black ***** bastard, anyway.  Plus, I should always thank her and be grateful that she rescued me out of that whorehouse she left me in until I was six months old, because I turned black.  She never convinced me that I owed  her anything, especially my silence.

Plus, I'm intelligent enough to know this "silence", this "loyalty", this "honor thy mother" rhetoric was just another one of her scams.    Another example of her brilliant ability to manipulate.  A clear example of her great "mind ****ing".  Martha was always trying to prove her brilliance.  No, she did not have the degree, so, Mathy was going to defraud you , just to prove your degree meant nothing to her.   Jealousy!  Coveteous!

 If family secrets were so important, why did you spend so much time tearing us down to any one that would listen?

I watched you Mathy.  You were a hoot.  I saw it several times.   To this day , it makes my skin crawl.   The time you tried to pimp me out to your husband,  when I was 14.  You were as cool as a cucumber.  You were pissed.  I could tell that you were enraged when you discovered I wasn't the common slut you were at 14.

You were cool and you were common.  Went straight back to Fayetteville and put on a pornography clinic,  with your bedroom door unlocked in the MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON!

(LORD!  Why didn't I know it was DEMON possession!?)

True, you should have hated me.  There was no way I was ever going to approach your filth.  Was I affected?  Most definitely!  26 years of celibacy and I thank you!

Martha, no, you did not have A DEMON, YOU HAD A LEGION!

Children, if you don't want to be a Mathy Jane, learn from my testimony.

PTL!

I press on   …

* "What am seen.." is in reference to my master's thesis destroyed by two buzzard reprobates.