And why? Why should I try to keep some selfish , evil , "root working", MURDERING whore's 87 years of "top secrets" when she was NEVER DISCREET HERSELF!?
At some point we do all have to stand up for ourselves. I love the line from GLORY ; "Dey come a time when we 'gon hafta'man up and be MEN! …ain't dat right?"
My LORD! My Glorious Ever Lasting Saviour, did Mathy LEAVE HER SONS, HER VICTIMS , SO BLIND, SO LOST, SO DESTROYED, they still can't face her , though she be long dead?
GOD said No!
He said it is Free Will. "Whom so ever will, let him come." If you want to hide in the dark, refusing to know your truth. Deliberately refusing to know , to recognize, to examine your painful truth , only exacerbates it. It magnifies it. Intensifies it! It roars in your head. Nothing can remove that shrill high pitched alarm but GOD"s truth. Come out of the dark. Come out of denial. "Come ye out from among them."
Martha sure magnified repulsion, rejection, revulsion , in me. Laughing at me, still picking at me in my old age! We were both elderly and I still wasn't good enough. I was Teacher of the Year, and I wasn't good enough. I was totally celibate for 25 years and I still was a "closet whore/lesbian"! I was still too black, too hard lucked, too opinionated, too fat , too old, just too fucked up.
Why, my mother found me to be so fucked up, we both wondered why I even bothered breathing. Why try to live in this mutha fucker!? What was the point!? Born the wrong color! "Just go kill your fucking "sef' "!"
Why was I born? Why was I still here? Oh, for her entertainment, to be her bitch, her footstool. And if I didn't like the part she assigned me, I could just get the fuck over it , because she was NOT changing. She had hoodwinked the entire A.M.E.Zion DEMON-ugh-Nation! Her name was NOT going to rot! She was NOT going to pay any attention to ONE WORD in that Book! That Book was her tool, her ruse, a platform to hide behind while she and satan did their worse.
GOD said No!
PTL!
I press on ...
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