"So, … just how ...

"unintelligent" are you?  Just how defeated are you, really?  You spend money that you don't have on "hair" that you don't need!    Get your nails and toes done by people you purely hate.  They hate you just as much.  They look you dead in the eye, scrubbing your crusty feet, caring less about you than you care less about them.

You ignorantly and selfishly refuse to leave a tip not recognizing they refuse to do a good job.

You demand child support from a man that you don't know, for a baby you (secretly) didn't want.  You just wanted a meal ticket.  You made your uterus a slot machine.  You are stupid enough to think you are smart.

You demand to be called a "lady".  But, every one knows you are a lustful whore worse than the herd of men (and some women) you collect.  Hearts you brag you have broken.  You try to stack the money you collect from your "Johns".  You can't.  For some reason all of your ill gotten gain comes to naught, every time.

The only way a spouse or loved one can prove their love to you is through expensive gifts that you want , simply to flaunt, to cultivate envy, then discard.    Tokens designed to prove that  you are chosen, preferred, elected, excused, because of the color of your skin, the silkiness of your hair.  You know you are a fool, but, you are one happy fool, so you think.

For  years you secretly demand that this world envy you as much as you envy every person you see.

"Trust and Obey!"    Just why are you pretending to trust and obey?  Why the ruse?  Is it guilt?  Or are you dumb enough to believe praise is enough?   Attending "church" for hours on end weekly is worthless if you refuse to obey.

Just who do you think you are fooling?  Your immediate family knows.  Some of those "saints" in that "church" know.  Is GOD pleased?  How dare you accuse GOD of "letting" you.  You can not blame yourself on GOD!

Blame your condition on your "condition".  Unread, unlearned, unreceptive, unprotected, unrepentant!

GOD said No!

I press on    …