Ray Charles I Can't Stop Loving You

If I could pen a playlist for my mother's life this song would be at the top of the list.  She did play this song a lot when we lived on post.  While my mother was a complete horror most of the time I am glad I can say not all of the time.

She loved music.  Invested money in albums, records, equipment.  We had a Hi-Fi!  High fidelity stereo something.   She did permit my little brother to completely dismantle it.  Caught it on film, thought it funny.  Martha was not always bad.  Sometimes she would bake cookies, tea cookies.  Make molasses bread, ginger bread.  There was a time she kept her house clean, every room clean, the car clean.  There were days she didn't curse me out, didn't curse the whole world out for merely existing.  There were days she did not steal and deliberately sabotage. There were days she did not beat my little baby brother senseless and call him ugly.  There were days I was not "black as a muthafucking crow!"

Then there were days we said "What the FUCK!?" There were days she would pure beat the  "living wadder shit out'cha!".

I still have no idea what brought on these demonic attacks.  I do know they came pretty regular.  I do know Mathy's true personality motivated me to get an education and  to get the fuck on.  No, I didn't get far enough away, but I  did get some distance between us.

I found out pride is a serious thing, that you can curse people.  I learned ; "Every shut eye ain't sleep and every good-bye ain't gone."   If you can not trust your own mother, who the fuck can you trust? Nobody!  NoBODY!  Not your husband, you wife, your child, noBODY!   Trust GOD!  That's it.  Don't even trust your fucking self!   Shit how many people are successfully lying to themselves right now?

Pray to not lie to yourself!  Pray to quit lying period.   If you don't  already lie , don't take up lying.  And what ever you do, do not lie for a dead muthafucker!

Praise the LORD!