Another day!

Dear LORD thank you for another day to get it right, to heal, pray, meditate , to teach and reach.  I do not want to spend one more moment of my life trying to convince people that I am worthy, that I am chosen.  I know that I know, GOD knows and that is all that matters.

Multitudes of foolish people calling themselves "Christians" are so un-Christ like, so full of hidden hatred and jealousy it crushes me.  I know it is all in Divine Order and GOD you will right every wrong.  While it was excruciatingly painful for me to lose all my family and "friends".  I know it had to be.

Can loud, clamorous, violent ignorant pathological bullies like my mother be helped?  No!  They are as necessary as the rain, as the dirt and manure a seed is planted in.  The good news, I always knew.  That was GOD.  GOD inside me, leading, guiding, warning, protecting, saving.

I must shout and praise GOD for giving me the courage, the unction to run for my life when my "stepfather" was attempting to sexually molest me.  I was in the bed with my mother!  I ran to their bedroom because I was having a nightmare.

That man, that hideous man put his hands on my most private part.  Startled, terrified, something inside me said run for your life.  I am sixty-four years old and I can still hear my mother's laugh.  My mother, a woman, so fallen, so depraved, she thought it funny.

Perhaps I am two hundred years ahead of my time with my truth.  I do know there is a lot of lying going on, a great deal of denial going on.  That is misplaced shame.  I refuse to be ashamed because my old lying mother was a complete pervert!

None of us are right until we are right with GOD.  My mother tried to pretend that it was her shame, her incredible guilt , that kept her from apologizing.  An evil demonic liar to her dying day!  The truth was she did not care, could not care and was glad she did the damage she did.

Rot!  Rot you ignorant slut!  I only regret that I failed to ever tell you that to your lying, MURDERING, demon possessed face.

Reflecting on my extremely long purely diabolical experience with Mathy Jane, the deliberately closeted beast, I swoon and pray for our world.  How many innocent lives have to be deliberately destroyed by complete imps posing as "mothers" before decent people stand up?

Decent people are Christ lovers,  not people pretending to be Christians.  There is no true Christ lover on this earth that will know there was ever a woman like Martha Jane Walters that lived and walked this earth for eighty-seven years , did the things she did , for eighty-seven years and never say a mumbling word.

Something is not right!  Something is rotten in the cotton.  I hear all of your excuses, but I smell a Mathy Jane!

Claiming you are too terrified, too embarrassed, too horrified, "you a lie".  You are just  as cold, as callous, as selfish and as greedy,   just like Martha Jane Walters.  No you are not incestuous or a pedophile, yet.

Yes, I said yet.  The fact that my testimony does not move you to do something, to say something , proves you are just a voyeur.  Slowing down, straining your neck to see someone else's pain.  Go on and look.  Shake your head and walk away.  You have sons and daughters, or you will have, some day.  You have a family.

If you knew my mother, you would instantly like her.  You would be drawn to her.   She was charismatic, she was actually a fun person to be around.  I am so glad I could not read her mind.  I am glad that Almighty GOD spared me of her real thoughts, her real intentions.

I am sure it is a very good thing that most people cannot read minds.  It is a good thing we have no idea what secret lies behind a cheshire smile, a cold hug.

GOD searches the minds and hearts of all men and women.  My mother was clever, actually brilliant in her deceit.  But she knew.  That is what destroyed her, her own guilt.   Much too cowardly to go out and kill herself like Judas, she just waxed worse and worse.

Martha Jane Walters purely rotted from the inside out.  How could she not?   MURDER!  Woman you MURDERED YOUR OWN FATHER!

No! Low whore you did not waste a sorry man!  YOU deliberately murdered a good man.  A man like David, a man with the patience of Job.  A man vexed like Job because of you!

While Martha was a terrifying, man eating beast, I always gave her a run for her money.  I always bucked her more than most.  I am not saying that I was not terrorized, because I was.  I, like my grandfather, insisted on living right, on loving right, on being a Christ lover.

To this very day,  the thought of my mother, of her true identity, reduces me to tears.  I can scarcely  bare the thought of such an ogre being my mother.  Worse, no one will stand with me.  No one!  "Forget it!" The world clamors .  Her victims, my five brothers would rather hate me, purely despise me for telling.

You have been raped, robbed, utterly destroyed by your OWN MOTHER!  And you HATE me!  I am not the one that deliberately harmed you, lead you into captivity and sealed you in an early grave.  You are not that stupid!  You know better!  You hate her too!  You hate that horrid volunteer imp,  lying slut , as much as I do.  Actually probably worse than I do.

Why are you lying?  Why are you demanding that I let her rest in peace?  We should all be out there digging her dead demonic ass up and scattering her bones from Fort Bragg to Wade, North Carolina.

It is all still in Divine Order.  Martha Jane Walters demonstrated clearly how low we can all fall without the indwelling of His Holy Spirit.

Over the course of the sixty-two years I knew my mother, I never heard her pray.  She prayed, rather repeated the LORD's Prayer or she repeated prayers she memorized, prayers she got from a tape.  But, she never prayed.  It wasn't that she could not.  She was intelligent.  She was a great persuasive writer and orator.  She did NOT want GOD!  She did NOT want to come to the Cross.  And sadly she did not want anyone else to either.

Yes, Martha Jane Walters was a disciple for satan.

I will not be dissuaded.  People that hated, scorned, scoffed, rejected and reviled me were going to any way.  They do not want to admit it but they are just as demonic, just as carnal and depraved.  Sadly they are just as lost because they want to be.  They have chosen the wrong king and are too proud, too stiff necked to turn around.

I pray that is not you.  I pray that you pray for the indwelling of the Holy Ghost.  I pray that people will finally stop  trying to prove to mortal man that they are Christians and become Christ lovers.

People trying to prove to the world they are devout Christians, act the part, are in "church" every time the doors open.  They dress the part, holy raiment.  They talk the part, only "Christian" language because the are dumb enough to believe the Tenth Commandment (Thou shalt NOT curse) is referring to grammar, vocabulary.  (You deserve to suffer for your deep,  dull understanding.)

Never forget those Pharisees and Sadducesses worrying Jesus to death about not washing the corn and healing on the Sabbath.    All a bunch of lying, jealous covetous hypocrites, every last one of them.

It really doesn't matter what you or I do or don't do.  It is all in Divine Order!  GOD is going to have His way.  And you and I are going to have our day.  We will all have to answer for our hidden sins one day.  I am glad I had a mother like Martha.  Ironically, that evil brutish woman saved my life.

Praise the LORD!

I press on    ...