(Praise the LORD!)
A very foolish, corrupt, demon laden , ignorant, intractable, wayward woman was charged with my safe delivery to this earth. Martha Jane Walters was the chosen vehicle for my entrance into this life experience, this rigorous journey. I was not her unwanted property as she thought. I wasn't her unwanted garbage either.
Most importantly, she did not utterly destroy me as she planned. She did not reduce me to the begging parasite she plotted, designed, coerced , raped and robbed.
(Praise the LORD!)
From vicious sexual assaults upon my tiny infant frame, to all the lies and schemes and "witchcraft" she hatched and plotted to her dying day, did not destroy me.
(Praise the LORD)
Why? How did Martha Jane Walters become such a malignant, demon controlled narcissist? PRIDE!
"Pride goeth before a fall." Pride, thinking more of yourself than you do of GOD. Pride, anger with GOD for GOD being GOD, for having authority over you. Pride, denying GOD is GOD! Pride, pretending that you do not believe in Him in order to justify your disobedience. Pride, anger and insane jealousy for any one, I mean anyone, more attractive, more intelligent, more gifted and talented.
With out the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, without baptism, you will turn ravenous. You will become a ravenous plotter, pathological liar. You will become delusional believing your own lies. You will behave like a toddler, ripping and ruining everything you should love to shreds .
Study the book of James. Brother James reminds us to not be double minded. You can not be good and bad. You can not serve GOD and the evil one.
That was my poor mother, up preaching on Sunday , hunting and haunting graveyards for power the rest of the week. Ignorant! She should have been one or the other. Martha got spewed.
Martha was tormented. The fool tormented herself for eighty-seven years. She was despicable . I can understand why she refused to believe she was actually as common as she truly was.
My whole life my mother screamed and bemoaned the low life ******* that had ruined her life, abandoned her with "all dese black ass chullun!" Not once letting on that it was her secret extreme nymphomania, her use of Spanish Fly, her sick perverted nature that prevented that true joy she searched for.
It was her demand for group sex, anonymous sex, her pedophilia, HER INCEST that led to her downfall. Never recognizing or acknowledging that ton of pornography propping up her bed had anything to do with her inability to so much as hold a good man's attention.
Martha was a fallen woman full of blame for everyone but herself. Martha lived eighty-seven years and was never wrong concerning anything.
Martha did live and plot against every one in her entire family. The evidence is clear. Her horrid whoredom is obvious and we the living can gleam so much wisdom from her deplorable life.
I certainly count it all Joy! There is no telling, no predicting how low Martha intended to take me. She needed people, every one around her to be lower , more broken, more destroyed than she.
Martha was not going to be corrected. The real Martha was not going to be known. She was going to force her brand of bullying, terrorizing "love" on every one unfortunate enough to be found in her clutches.
You were not going to tell on her! You were going to let her have her way! I must pause and laugh for one moment remembering her screaming like an escaped lunatic; "DON'T YOU BLACK ASS ****** F***ING THINK BACK! DON'T YOU SORRY ASS BLACK MUTHA********** SO MUCH AS SAY **** TO ME 'BOUT NUTTIN!!"
Praise GOD Almighty! Just keep living! Just keep your hand in the hand of the man that stilled the waters. Know that your redeemer lives. I know my redeemer lives because I am still here. Not only am I still here, I have full knowledge and understanding of Martha's rabid ignorance. I fully comprehend her dull understanding.
Martha Jane Walters was a loud, lying, totally depraved vacuous fool. This world is well rid of her. My inner child is healing. I am so excited, I am actually proud, bragging that I refused to attend her sorry farce of a funeral. I am proud of myself for finally standing up to her.
Martha had no power . Sure, she had magic, but she had no power. Even she admitted her greatest scams were completed with magic matches she got from South of the Border. Her schemes were hilarious. Fleecing people of their hard earned money by pretending to sacrifice it.
I often wondered why my mother invented so many characters to play. Madame ******, Miss Rico, on and on. Martha could not be herself, not her real self. I can not blame her for that.
One thing for sure, she was a piss ant, a vexation of the soul. No matter what, I will not be defeated by the likes of her. I read my Bible! I know my redeemer lives! "What GOD has for me, is for me."
I know one thing, no more. No more Mathy Janes in my life. I've been down the road with disingenuous "loved ones" before , never again. GOD protects me, warns me, dispatches His Angels to protect me.
(Praise the LORD)
Be wayward, full of pride, intractable, thick, if you want to. You will not prosper. You will spin your wheels, waste your time. You may be satisfied like Martha. Martha was satisfied, happy, because she successfully enslaved and destroyed in secret for eighty-seven years. Martha did die poor, just another broke ******. But she had more than the children she successfully destroyed. Grown men so utterly destroyed by their demonic incestuous mother they still gladly cloak for her, falsely clinging to a false love that never existed.
Martha knew that we knew she hit rock bottom when she murdered her own father. She also knew full well we were not about to open our mouths. We never had. She had done her worse (so we thought) by the time she finally took her father's life. Satisfied that no one would dare confront her she rotted from the inside out.
There is no reason for another human being to suffer like Martha. Do know it was simply jealousy, that Cain spirit , that destroyed Martha. Martha's extreme jealousy made a fool out of her. That same Cain spirit grips our world, our nation and "our people" today. It is unfortunate, most black people (actually most people) have a Cain spirit. It is a curse.
I know this evil spirit of jealousy, I have been afflicted by it my entire life. I no longer fear it. I know what ever GOD has for me, is for me. Any and all friends and family I've lost in my process of growing, of coming into the full knowledge of Jesus CHRIST, I bid I a fond farewell.
If you are so jealous in your spirit that you insist on playing head games with me. Rejecting, reviling, ridiculing me for my truth. If you are so jealous of me you enjoy my tears , I pray for you. You are lost, you are cursed with curse.
I pray GOD bless you abundantly. I forgive you. You are human, you are carnal. When GOD gets ready He will bless me with a real publisher, a real editor, a lucrative contract. I have no doubt GOD will restore me and place me exactly where He wants me to be when He is ready.
It is all in Divine Order! No man, no woman, no "loved one" can hinder me.
PTL!
I press on ...
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