No man can hinder me. No friend, no family, nor foe. Do know that weak Cain spirited human beings will try. Their jealousy is bigger and stronger than any love they profess to have for you. It is sad, it hurts deeply. Forgive them.
They will try every way possible to plant seeds of doubt in your head. They will say things designed to debilitate you, crush you and claim that you are too sensitive. They are narcissist, addicted to inflicting pain. After enjoying the delicious pain they extracted from your trampled, bruised, bleeding heart, they will comfort you with a gift and perhaps some praise.
Jesus reminds us to shun evil. It is hard because we are lonely. If they are like me, they have no one, NO ONE! Not one person that loves them unconditionally.
You must pray. You must pray for GOD to take that pain away. It is excruciating, it is debilitating. GOD will strengthen you. He will enable you. I had my child through natural childbirth. I did not take so much as an aspirin. (28 hours)
These narcissist are human, simply human and can not hear or understand. They are deaf to GOD's Word because they do not want to hear it. GOD warns us ; "lean not to your own understanding."
Full of pride and carnal they put all of their trust in their own cunning, lying and manipulating. (From such stay away) You hear GOD warning you over and over but you love them so deeply you think you can help, that you can change them. You admonish, over and over, gently like my grandfather.
Granddaddy should have saved his breath was my thought but GOD taught me different. "While evil, wayward Martha refused to listen, you did. You heard, you heeded." Praise the LORD.
The evil one does not want to be called out or recognized. They defend themselves by reminding you what they did for you, how much you have cost them. Notice you would never remind them of the sacrifices you made for them. You have never counted the cost of what you did for them.
But you must do what GOD has called you to do. Stifle your hurt. Dry your tears. Perhaps, periodically you will experience some real joy. Just be still and know that GOD is love and that He loves you.
Man, this Hue- man, these seven billion souls inhabiting GOD's earth right now belong to satan. Very, very few know GOD. Man is by nature extremely evil and predatory. Man is II Timothy, chapter 3. Stop trying to get any love, recognition, praise or happiness from him or through him. Man is incapable.
Don't let him mistreat you though. Do not let him scream obscenities at you calling you names, calling you crazy or a fool. Don't let her mock you, laugh at and ridicule your gifts.
Be there for them when they fail . They will surely fall attempting to be their own gods. Ungrateful, pompous, declaring themselves right. Falsely professing they don't need GOD because they are wiser than GOD. They see people suffering and foolishly blame GOD, not corrupt Cain spirited man.
I am particularly broken hearted today remembering all the loved ones that have betrayed me. The list is long but GOD is good!
Such is life. My grandfather was a good man. Lived a good life for 84years, was shot down like a dog by his own daughter. Worse yet, not one person in his entire family so much as cares, have ever cared. NO NOT ONE! Not one black person on this earth will share this post or any of my posts. Black people will not share my blog because it is true. If my tortured life is revealed they can onto longer blame the WHITE MAN.
As quiet as it is kept, black people are a destroyed people. They hate each other far more than they do their oppressors. They are loud, obnoxious , intractable. They are crabs in a barrel. I am 64 years old and I have met very few good black people in my entire life. As I sit here typing I can only think of one, my grandfather and he was an Indian.
White people don't care either, many supposing their skin color makes them superior and they think I am living the life I deserve for my crime of being born black. So for 64 years my gifts and talents have been ignored, hated, spat upon or thrown away.
The truth is jealousy and covetousness have destroyed the "black race". BLACKS SOLD BLACKS INTO SLAVERY. I had to end my career of teaching much too early because my black students were pure imps from satan, vulgar, no mannered bullies. And most of their parents, worse than they were. It broke my heart to be mistreated daily as I tried so desperately to impart knowledge to hordes of disrespectful hooligans.
The same students that tortured and mocked me daily would cross the hall to a white teacher's room and assume the position of a docile coon. Black principals and administrators still terrified by white privilege, still immersed in the idea of white supremacy , crucified me for my "arrogance" , my uppity-ness.
That breaks my heart. That can only mean I am related to some very low common selfish people. People lined up begging GOD for a blessing that I know will never come. So anti-GOD, anti-intellectuals that have not so much as read the Bible they claim to love or claim they despise.
Dear LORD if it be thy will pierce their hearts with a finger of love today, 9/11. September 11, 2001 America was brought low, crashing to her knees.
How soon we forget. We are bickering savagely, lying profusely. Every one knows there is only one race, the Human Race! People clinging to their color as a badge of honor or an excuse for their own personal triflingness.
I am friendless, but I am at peace because I have Jesus. I came into this world alone and I will leave here alone. No, I didn't get to do what I wanted to do as my old evil mother reminded me. "Yer'life didn't turn out lak you planned it, did it!? "No,it didn't Martha Jane. But I did not live the horrid life you claimed you enjoyed. No one can call me a perverted pedophile. No one can indict me for INCEST! I did not MURDER, bludgeon, stab, rape or rob any one.
My name will not rot. GOD got me, has held me in His arms for 64 years and I have sense enough to thank Him, to be humble, to listen to His voice and obey.
"Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
"For GOD is my record, how greatly I long after you all in the bowels of Jesus Christ. And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgement; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ."
"that ye may be sincere", that you may be honest, able to speak the truth. That you cease being manipulative, cunning and lying because you are so jealous of the gifts of others , you can not properly cultivate your own.
That was my mother, a brilliant thinker, writer, actress, orator, but vulgar, carnal, a completely depraved nymphomaniac. A woman so ashamed of her carnal appetite she did it , justified it, played weak lunatic, while deliberately and cunningly pinning every demonic deed on someone else, mainly on me.
I do forgive her. And I thank Almighty GOD for delivering me from my kin. People that love and honor such a woman have no place in my life. People that could care less that such people are given a platform, a pulpit to play preach to them, are all unwanted in my life.
"To GOD be the Glory!"
PTL!
I press on ...
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