I am still stuck on #18 under STAGE THREE: HEALING
I have not resolved my abuse with my offender to the extent that is acceptable to me.
I have 21 questions for my abuser:
#1 Why did I believe her?
#2 How could I believe that she loved me?
#3 How could I believe that she ever loved anyone?
#4 Why didn't I know that she was capable of murder?
#5 Why did she try to kill her father when she was sixteen?
#6 Why did she try to kill my brother for telling her live in boyfriend she was his mother?
#7 Why was that a secret anyway?
#8 Why weren't we allowed to tell anyone?
#9 Why did she hate him and blame him for ruining her life?
#10 Why couldn't she see that she ruined his life?
#11 Why is her self-esteem so low that she has to live in a fantasy world of make believe?
#12 Why did she hate me and try to destroy me secretly?
#13 Why did she order her husband to rape me when I was such a tiny little girl?
#14 What did she do to my brothers?
#15 Why did she hate her father?
#16 Why couldn't she earn a B.S. degree?
#17 Why did she become a "root worker" ?
#18 Why does she work "roots" on people that she is jealous of?
#19 Has she ever been sorry for a single foul deed?
#20 Why did she murder her own father?
#21 Will she ever repent of her sins?
I have a right to question. I have a right to know.
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It would be helpful to first go through the other Steps and Stages. It is designed to bring you to the place where Step Eighteen gets resolved in due time.
ReplyDeleteI assure you I have gone through the other steps.(I recognize I went through them w/o "knowing" what was actually happening in my life) Steps 1-7 in Stage one , steps 8-14 in Stage 2. When I finally got the courage to "question" in '09 she cursed me out! That is whay she can't heal. She has never let anyone approach her with her awful truth.She denies the total existence of this awful person. She is perfect snd has never done anything wrong. She can't understand this strange world that is always lying on her. I am 61, she is 86, we don't have a lot of time. My grandfather tried the "gentle approach", it got him a bullet in the heart.
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