"When I was a child ...

I thought as a child.  But when I became a (wo) man I put away childish things."  "Childish things"; selfishness, jealousy, envy, superstition, primitive ignorance.  From ages 14 - 18 I got the same phone call at 4pm exactly everyday.  So accustomed and conditioned like Pavlov's dog, I picked up on the first ring.  The voice on the the other end of the phone terrified me.   In the deepest masculine baritone she could muster; "GWEN! IS THAT HOUSE STANDIN' TALL!?"

"Yes mother."  I always humbly responded.  Every day I would rush home from school to clean up my mother's filthy house and cook dinner.  I was in charge of keeping all of her clothes hung up and in order.  I was in charge of her filthy cluttered room.  I washed the dishes, swept and mopped the kitchen floor.  (I did take turns with my brother.  But, he was allowed to put all of the pots in "soak" or hide them in the oven.)   No, I was not always agreeable.  I had three nasty brothers.  I thought they deliberately made my life hard.  Messing up glasses and dishes for no reason.  So I hid the dishes.  I made my two younger brothers drink water out of the hose in the backyard.

There was a well established pecking order.  She picked on us, the two oldest, so we picked on them, the two youngest.  (The last baby was not yet born)  Yes, I had a filthy mouth and a worse attitude.  "Take yo' muthaf**** shoes off n***!  Hang dat s***up!  Git duh f****out'uh duh living room!"  I was in charge of getting them off to school.  One was very pleasant and agreeable.  It was my job to get everyone up, to make sure they had a decent hot breakfast.  The good little brother, got up, showered, brushed his teeth, dressed, very pleasantly.  The other one feigned ignorance and stupidity every morning.  He refused to get up until he was cursed out vulgarly.  I had to lay hands on him! Throw cold water on him!  He would lie about brushing his teeth.  Every morning I slammed his head into the wall for lying to me, for frustrating me, causing me to become frazzled.

The good one was neat.  His clothes were always pressed, complete with creases.  Shoes shined, his beautiful curly hair was immaculate.  The other brother was rumpled, rough dried, nothing matched.  We were all in charge of keeping our own clothes clean.  Our mother declared ;"S*** N****! I bought a f***** washing machine.  Wash yo' own f**** clothes!"  Five, six, seven, eight, she didn't care.

I was a child.  I thought that was what all mothers did.  I see now my mother was still a child.  A grown woman with a child's pea size brain.  An out of control bully.  Poor Mathy Jane preached but never understood the WORD.  Jesus came that we all might have life and have it more abundantly.  He came so that we would not have to be lying bullies.

Every WORD in that book is true children.  Every thing done in the dark shall be brought to light.  There is no magic lie.  You can't tell a "back lie" to fix all the wrong you've done.  We have all sinned and come short of GOD's grace, of His goodness.  GOD is quick to forgive.  His love for us has never waivered.  We are all forgiven.  We all must repent of our sins if we want to dwell in His Kingdom.  The Bible says that pride will prevent many.  Will pride prevent you?

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth, engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)